scared to death
I havent posted since 2024, well im scared to death, I already had 2 surgery, with my last surgery being feb 23rd 2023, well my 3rd surgery is scheduled for feb 19th 2025, I never got better after my last 2 surgery just way more pain and complications and new symptoms, my surgeon is 90% sure I have Endo growing on my lungs, with these new symptoms, chest pain, rib pain, shortness of breath, im terrified of having surgery even tho I know what to expect, its the after part that scares me with my surgeon giving my oxy for pain med when he knows I got addicted to it after my last surgery and over dose on pain pills because I wanted to end my life, I did ask to be admitted to the hospital after surgery to help mange pain but he told me to let him know day of surgery what I wanna do, im just scared of more complications, not managing the pain well and wanting to end my life because of the pain, I was in and out of psych hospitals after both my surgery and I havent been in a psych hospital since July 2024 and im trying to stay that way but haven surgery I dont know what's gonna happen on top of everything I just found out I have pots and one of my psych meds makes it risky to be on that with having pots so im even more scared, im just so scared at this point 🙁 on top of everything I got fired from my job cuz of my physical and mental health issues
Hi friend, I hear your fear and can completely understand why you feel that way. You've been through SO MUCH! Living with extreme pain, going through two surgeries, another one coming up, overcoming addiction and suicidal thoughts, and now losing your job. I'm so sorry you're going through all this! You're smart to be weary of taking the pain medication after surgery, especially given how it affected you in the past. Hopefully they let you stay in the hospital to manage the pain if it's too much. And if nothing else works, there is always meditation to help you breathe through the pain. Here is an article you might find helpful about mindfulness and endometriosis pain: https://endometriosis.net/living/meditation-pain. Do you have someone who will be there with you after the surgery? It's always nice to have someone in these moments when you feel scared who can help you stay calm. And please know that we're here for your support. We'll be thinking about you on February 23rd. Keep us updated. Sending warm, healing thoughts - Kat (Team Member) my ex will be coming with me the morning of surgery but if im getting admitted ill be all alone, I had a pre op yesterday and some reason they made me do another pre op today but they do agree with my history then maybe staying on the hospital is not a bad idea, is just so stressful and now I got pots and they tell me to limit how much stress im under but that's easier said then done, I will differently keep u updated, im just terrified and I know when I do go home and still cant mange the pain that's when I become sucidal and going to a psych hospital shortly after surgery sounds like a bad idea because in the past they refuse to help me with any medical issues and refuse to help me with controling my pain
