Oocyte donation

Hi endo warriors,
This is my first message and I am afraid I need to be quite technical as I am about to start an expensive oocyte donation program to get pregnant.
I have both adenomyosis inside the muscle of the uterus and endometriosis mainly located nearby the colon and the urethra.
Eventhough my uterus hurts and is nearly useless, I still want to have that baby I gave up to finish my studies.
So here I am, at 43, after a couple of Ivfs, and a failed oocyte donation program, going for another one, the last one. If this one fails, I intend on getting the hysterectomy my surgeon wants so badly done. But also because my pain always finds a way to distract the medication I am given.
So please, if you have gone through similar situations, share your experience with me. Right now I am quite anxious about the consequences of going off the pill and of facing the ultimate failure.
Many thanks
E