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Anxiety and Wanting to Conceive after Surgery

Hello all, I’ve been reading here for awhile but haven’t posted. I’m currently 21 and about to have my first laparoscopy. I’ve been complaining about severe pain on and around my periods since I was 15. I was started on birth control at 16, and it’s never helped. I’ve had the depo shot, pills, patches, and I had the nexplanon implant but it was inserted too deep, and also, didn’t help. I have a lot of anxiety going into the surgery, since I don’t believe my doctor or nurses listen to any of my questions very well.
I believe that I had a chemical pregnancy last year. I’m extremely anxious, so as soon as I started having symptoms I couldn’t ignore, I stopped taking my anxiety meds, which is why I believe it was a chemical pregnancy. When I brought this up to my nurses, they dismissed everything I said. If I mentioned a symptom, they suggested it was a withdrawal symptom of the meds, even though I stopped them after the symptoms occurred. I even had to carry a cup around with me because of how much excess saliva I was producing! My boobs were sagging, I just knew.
That same year, I had an std I was unaware of, and treated once I found out I had PID. This year, I’ve had some ultrasounds done, all clear. About two months ago, I had a hysterosalpingogram, and it showed that my right tube is blocked. I asked many questions on what could’ve caused this, and all I get is, “wait until you speak to the doctor.” Now, my doctor wants to do a laparoscopy, but he told me he doesn’t believe I have endometriosis and it’s always just been PID? This statement seriously concerns me. Not to mention, no one has mentioned any of the risks of the endo growing back if I do have it. At this point, I only have one tube and I’m concerned. I’m feeling like I’ll have a time limit to conceive, and I don’t know how to ask about that, or even if my questions would be answered to my understanding. I’m confused, I’m anxious, and I’m exhausted from all of this pain. I’m also a type one diabetic with hashimotos, ptsd, adhd, and anxiety. It’s too much.
If the endo is as bad as it feels like it is, should I be concerned like I am? I just want advice from more people in my shoes. I’ll start trying my best to prepare myself for a child if I won’t have that option in the future.

  1. Hi , this is a lot. No wonder you feel anxious and exhausted.
    I'm sorry that you aren't feeling heard by your doctor. That just feels terrible. BUT, whether he believes you have endometriosis or not, if it's there he'll see it. I would suggest that you ask him to print some pictures from the surgery so that you can go over them together at your post-op visit. You could also request that he do some biopsies even if he doesn't see anything worrisome for endo; this is a typical practice and you can tell him how helpful that would be to reassure you. Having information that you trust may help you feel more clear about what is going on inside your body so that you can make a plan that you feel confident about for going forward.
    It can be hard to wait, but I do think the surgery will give you some clarity. Hopefully you won't have to wonder as much, and you can focus on dealing with whatever this issue really is.
    When is your surgery scheduled? Please let us know how things are going for you. You are not alone in this difficult process--this community is here to support you. Sending all my best wishes for a smooth surgery and clear answers. -Audrey (endometriosis.net)

    1. Thank you for your well wishes! The surgery was successful, they found the endo on the left ligament supporting my uterus, and behind my uterus. I have an appointment on the 24th to go further into the results, but I read over the surgery details as soon as they were available. It looks like it didn’t affect my Fallopian tubes, but I will definitely ask about that when I go back in. As of today, the only issue I have with pain is all of the gas floating around my abdomen, but I’m working through it.

    2. I'm so glad to hear from you! And that the surgery is done and you are recovering. That gas pain after laparoscopy is no fun, but it will go away. Not great news that they found endo, but it is good to have your concerns validated, and super reassuring that it was not around your tubes. Phew! I think your post appointment on the 24th will be really important to get the details about what this all means for you, and to start working on a plan. Can you take someone with you to help you remember everything, and to support you in getting your questions answered? Please keep in touch!! Best wishes on this new stage in your journey! -Audrey (endometriosis.net team)

  2. so very sorry you are dealing with all of this dear warrior. You certainly have been through a lot. I agree with Audrey below, it can be a pain to have to wait but surgery will be the best thing to get answers. I had a GYN who didn't think I had endo but I talked him into surgery and he did indeed find it. Please keep in touch and know you are not alone. We are all here rooting for you! Hugs <3 -Kimberli (endometriosis.net team member)

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