Supporting Someone with Endo: 5 Questions For My Partner
Last updated: July 2019
What do you struggle with the most as a partner of someone living with endometriosis?
I think the biggest struggle for me is watching you suffer physically and mentally, and not being able to stop it. There’s plenty I can do to help you manage it, and some of these things are very effective, but as anyone would feel regarding someone they love, I wish I could just snap my fingers and make it all go away. It’s difficult to sometimes feel powerless. All I have to do is think about how far you’ve come, and how much better you are able to manage your condition now, and the sun comes back out.
What do you think is the most effective way of supporting a partner with endo?
Answering from my own experience, I think the most effective way to support you is to adopt similar lifestyle choices to you, in terms of diet changes, bed time, rest. We do so much together, and can easily influence each other – we both really like indulgent foods sometimes – so I can see how helpful it is to you when I’m strict with myself. It makes the changes you choose to make easier to stick to and less daunting and isolating.
What’s been the most beneficial to you when it comes to living with endo?
I’m lucky to be with someone who not only has endometriosis, but is quickly becoming an expert in it. Having someone who is so knowledgeable and interested, but also positive and hopeful about their own condition is inspiring and really beneficial. If there’s anything I don’t understand I, can just ask you, and if you don’t know, we can find out together. It’s a mixture of having someone to talk to, but also having an expert on hand. Like being best friends with your gynecologist!
What advice would you give to a partner who is trying to support someone with endo?
Be attentive and communicative. Take on the endo battle as your own, make it a part of your life too. Actively find ways of managing the condition, try new things out, and review things you already do to see if they work. Basically, be active and engaged in your partner’s condition. Taking on a burden like a chronic illness as your own can be scary, but the burden will be lighter with two people, and you’ll achieve far more together than you will in isolation. Take an active interest in endo, and you’ll find what works best for the pair of you – no one else can tell you that.
If you could change one thing about how we live with endo, what would it be?
Following my own advice from above – I’d make myself more communicative. I don’t have to tell you that I sometimes don’t speak my mind, and if I did voice concerns or frustrations earlier on, I’m sure it’d make things a lot easier and clearer. Also, I’d get rid of our sweet-teeth, so that sticking to the endo diet was easier all month long!
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