Pregnant After Being Told You Couldn’t Have Children
She was told in her early teenage years that she wouldn’t be able to have children. The OB/GYN wanted to “set proper expectations” for my friend, who was newly diagnosed with PCOS.
I could relate. I remember coming out of anesthesia from my laparoscopy procedure to address endometriosis. The doctor told me that if I wanted to have kids, I needed to do it as soon as possible. That wasn’t exactly the information I wanted when I was single and had no luck on the dating scene in my early thirties.
Having a child after being told you couldn't conceive
A coworker was also told that she couldn’t conceive a baby because of issues she was having with her cycle. Yet here we all are still living with a diagnosis that said we likely couldn’t get pregnant, but now all three of us are mothers to healthy babies.
My friend with PCOS found out she was pregnant about six months ago. It took a lot to adjust mentally and emotionally to the news because ever since the doctor told her that kids likely weren’t in the cards for her, she tried to convince herself that she didn’t want kids anyway.
She now realizes that was just a defense mechanism because as soon as the surprising news of a positive pregnancy test came – more than a decade later - a wave of overwhelming emotions followed. Deep down, she did want to be a mom, and always had.
As she shared her emotions with me, I couldn’t help to realize how many of us are told that we can’t get pregnant, but that’s not always the case.
I appreciate the doctor’s desire to set expectations and share a sense of urgency, but I do think that there’s something to be said for leaving room for hope and a miracle. There are countless miracle babies in this world. I hold one in my arms every day.
Remaining optimistic about eventually becoming a mother
We can take the stories we’re told as 100% facts and start to believe that there isn’t hope. But what if there is hope? I clung to hope until I had my daughter at 42 years old. I needed the help of fertility treatments, but it happened.
There are many ways to become a mother – fostering, adoption, surrogacy, and so much more. A woman’s physical ability to conceive and sustain a healthy pregnancy does not determine her ability to be an amazing mother.
I share this because I think it’s so important that we allow ourselves to acknowledge our true desires – whatever they may be – and to know that despite what we are told, there are many ways to bring these desires to life.
Allow yourself to feel your desires. Allow yourself to expand the possibilities of making them happen.
It might not look like what you had initially planned, but it doesn’t mean it can’t come about in another way.
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