Who Says You Can’t Get Pregnant?
Last updated: October 2021
As I continued on my fertility journey with endometriosis at 41 years old, I was wondering if my time of getting pregnant would ever arrive.
We were trying all the medication and all the treatments, in addition to diet, stress management, and acupuncture. It was feeling like a full-time job. The hope of possibility kept us going.
My doctor's warnings
Yet I started to wonder if all those “warnings” I got over the years about fertility and endometriosis and fertility past 35 years old, let alone past 40 years old, were true.
I vividly remember my gynecologist saying to me while in the recovery room after my laparoscopy to treat endometriosis: “If you want to have kids, you should start soon.”
What was I supposed to do with that advice when I was single, despite my efforts to “find the right guy” to have children with? More than a decade has passed since she said those words to me and here I am at 41 years old in fertility treatments. But again, what was I supposed to do with that advice when I wasn’t married or in a financial position to freeze my eggs? It felt like information that only added stress and pressure.
Managing my stress and resetting expectations
I’m not suggesting that I didn’t want her to share that information, but as I stand here in the middle of IUIs and IVFs, I’m realizing how long those words have nagged at me and haunted me. I’m now faced with the reality of this question: Is it really true that now, more than a decade later, I’ll struggle to have kids?
As I felt the fear starting to take root, I had to remind myself that each month I’m getting more encouraging news that we’re getting closer and closer to getting pregnant.
It felt like it was time to let go of the fear around her words and open to the possibility of a new outcome. It’s so easy for just one conversation, that happened years ago, to create doubt that can build fear and stress. But, again, what if the opposite were true? Or rather, what if there’s a different ending?
What if in these 10 years, there have been so many advancements to fertility treatments that my odds are now better at conceiving a child? When it comes to the health of the body, nobody knows anything for certain. Each body is unique, and medicine is evolving so quickly over the years.
What we do know that stress is not supportive to any health condition and our belief in our body’s ability to heal and/or conceive is incredibly important. There’s also the mindset of even if I can’t biologically conceive a child, adoption is always an option to fulfill our dreams as a family.
It’s about letting go of the fear so we can be open to the possibility of our dreams being fulfilled. It’s from this space that we’re far greater positioned to see opportunities and possibilities.
Are there words or beliefs that you need to let go of? Perhaps today is the perfect day to start doing so.
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