How Endo Has Affected Our Goals - Part 1

Jessica has endometriosis, and Chris is her partner. Together, they find ways to manage the condition and support each other through its challenges. Here, Jessica shares her perspective on how endometriosis has affected their goals, with questions asked by Chris.

How do you see endometriosis has affected our goals?

I think for me, endo has hugely affected my business goals and financial goals. Everything is at a slower pace, so I’m not exactly where I envisioned I’d be in either departments by this age, but you know, I’m getting there.

I think endo has forced you to (or maybe allowed you to) focus on me more than yourself. Your goals have gone under the radar more and perhaps any goals you do have are more for me than they are for you (such as bringing in more income so I don’t have to worry, for example).

Collectively, I would hope we still have visions to travel and do some property development, but because my income has dipped so dramatically in the past few years, that feels far away. I’m working hard to make it happen, but it does feel like an uphill climb sometimes!

What is the biggest challenge endo throws in the way of achieving your goals?

Having fatigue and brain fog means I’m slower at getting things done, sometimes I’m less productive than I want to be even though I’m working super hard and some days (though it’s getting rarer), I’m so floored by my fatigue that I hit a brick wall. It’s the most frustrating thing for me because I really, really want to keep moving forward, but when my brain and body just can’t function, there’s literally nothing I can do. I can’t positive think my way through brain fog – I can hardly think at all!

Is there a silver lining to endo? Has the challenge of it benefited your goal setting and achieving in any way?

I think endo has made me super resourceful and also interested in making sustainable progress towards my goals. When I was younger, I was such a hustler. I had fallen prey to the ‘business hustler’ mentality, which I actually think is a pretty damaging mentality for a lot of us.

Since learning the hard way, I’ve done a lot of research to find a way of meeting my goals without burning myself out or resenting my goal. Endo has reminded me that it’s not just fine to rest – it’s essential. We cannot perform at our highest levels or be the best version of ourselves when we’re exhausted.

Do you have any goals around endo, and if you do, do I or how can I support you with them?

I’d love to get to sleep earlier, and more easily, so I can wake up earlier feeling recharged rather than exhausted, and then spend time working out so I can boost my energy further. I think I would reach for caffeine and sugar a lot less if I wasn’t so tired!

I often have in my head that I want to be in bed by 10pm at the very latest and I guess I assume you’re thinking the same thing, but you often aren’t. I then see you’re not ready and so I take longer with my stuff, and it just ends up that we’re in bed by 11 or even 12. Also, I always have an endless to-do list, but my vision is to stop working on my course work (as I’m studying) or whatever the to-do list is, by 9pm. I’d ideally love to have laptops off and phones off by 9pm, so we can just read and relax into sleep. If we were able to work towards that or if you could even just encourage me to do it myself (if you don’t want to do that), that would be huge. Holding me accountable, basically.

Read Part 2 here