Do you date knowing that you have endo pain?

This is a tricky one for sure. But I don't think your life has to stop. You can find a supportive, understanding partner; it just might take time. I don't think chronic illness is something you necessarily have to reveal on the first date, but if things are going well, I wouldn't wait too long to share it. You can have conversations before you have sex (not just right before it's happening, but days before) about your needs, boundaries, and how the two of you can work together to make sex enjoyable. Reading the articles here can be a good start to know how to talk about it: https://endometriosis.net/sex-intimacy.


You can pre-medicate with pain medication before sex and also take it after. Heating pads may also work. Look into the idea of aftercare (it's often spoken about in the kink community, but it's a helpful idea for any couple). What would you need to feel safe and comfortable after sex? Think about what you would need and ask for it. If the person you're dating isn't willing to do the things you're asking for, you may want to consider if they are a good match.


I can't speak to having children because I didn't want kids, but I know many people in our community can give you ideas about how to navigate that.


I wish you so much luck and I'm sending you big hugs. Please feel free to reach out to us any time. ~Katrina, Endometriosis.net Advocate

I hope this finds you having a low pain day. I do agree with the things that Katrina pointed out in her response. Your life does not have to stop due to endometriosis.
I have always used having endometriosis as a test for my partner. I am honest and upfront about the situation. There is nothing any of us can do to get rid of it. You do not have to tell them on the first date but you probably should have that conversation prior to becoming extremely serious. If somebody is not willing to help you through your needs or situations that may arise due to your endometriosis, then they are not the one for you. This may cause a few people to walk away BUT that does not mean something is wrong with you or that you should give up. Endometriosis is just helping weed out the lower-quality partners.
I personally explain that I have endometriosis and what that means prior to being intimate with someone. I do this because I want them to be aware and understand if I need to stop during sex. I have found that making sure I am properly "warmed up" helps sex not be so painful.
Despite this, I keep a heating pad by the bed and my pain medication on the bedside table. I also make sure I have water beforehand, so I do not have to go into the kitchen if I am in pain. While aftercare is a norm for the kink community, like Katrina mentioned, it is also important for us with endometriosis. Your aftercare 'box' should include things you need for pain, comfort, and health (like to rehydrate etc).
I hope this helps you. Feel free to ask me anything else! - Amanda W (team member)