Lose of Hope

Last updated: March 2022

Hello, I am 44 years old and I was diagnosed with endometriosis over 23 years ago. I have two beautiful children and here is my story.

My history

In 1995 I had an appendectomy and in 1996 I had my daughter and in 1998 I had my son. Soon after my son was born I started the depo-Provera shot. I was told the shot would have me gain weight and my periods would stop. Well, it had the opposite effect on me. I bled for one year, the only time I did not bleed was when I should have been on my period for 5 days. I lost weight so eventually, I convinced my doctor to let me have my tubes tied. We did the same doctor that did my appendectomy. That is when my endometriosis was found. He's not sure if the depo caused it or if I've had this all my life. Because I've had trouble with my periods on my life trouble with my sides when running in gym class but after my tubal, my pain got worse.

What happened after my doctor found my endo

I would spend one week in bed in the most horrific pain I have ever felt in my life crying screaming, finding no comfort with blood clots the size of sausages. I'd go to the emergency room and in my small town. I'd be told it's just your period. This is the way the woman's body works. After the doctor found the endometriosis, I had a total of seven laparoscopic surgeries. Every time I had a laparoscopic surgery they had cut intestines off my abdominal wall and ovary off of my abdominal wall or my intestine or off the stump of where my appendix was. So finally in 2004, I convinced yet another doctor to let me have a hysterectomy. I had a boy and a girl I had no other children did not wish to have any more children. I was told that would be a cure for my endometriosis.

I felt better, until I didn't

Well for about a year and a half, I felt better, no pain and had energy. Then all of sudden this pain started coming back slowly just a little here a little there during intercourse. I started having yeast infections and kidney infections regularly again. As of today, I hurt so bad that I spend 2 hours a day or more crying. I no longer was able to have sex with my partner because of the pain with the orgasm.

My current diagnoses

I have also since been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It's been a long road and I know there's no cure. I have been told that it could be in my spine, that is most definitely in my bowel and it is possibly in my sciatica. I could be in a wheelchair from the endometriosis is what I have been told. I'm not sure if this is true or not. My research has indicated that it could be. This is not a life I would wish on anyone.

What endo has taken from me

Endo has ruined my last marriage, it has ruined friendships, but I live with it. I ignore it. I push through it. I don't take pain pills. The medicines they put me on leave me in a fog. I don't do medical marijuana. I'm at a loss as to where to turn to get results. I have been to numerous doctors, yeah they see it. They want to do more surgeries. You get tired of the surgeries after a while and you choose to live with the pain. I've had doctors tell me it's in my head. I've had doctors telling me all I need is a good sex day. These men don't understand what we go through, some women don't.

I will advocate forever

I have made my small town aware of this illness. I preach it every day. Don't ignore your daughters when they tell you their periods hurt their sides hurt from physical activity. Don't let the doctor say this will pass. Make them look for other answers. I do not wish this life on anyone and I will tell every woman I meet about endometriosis. I don't care if they are one or 101, I will get the awareness out for this disease. Thank you. There is a lot more to my story but these are the highlights

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