My Endo Journey, Trying to Conceive and Feeling Hopeless

I found out 02/28/2020 after a laparoscopy that I had stage 4 endometriosis. It had already been one year of ttc and I was told this surgery would relieve my symptoms and improve my fertility.

Feeling hopeful and then...

I had a few months where my pain was less, my cervical mucus started to be normal and I was feeling hopeful. Then I had a cyst that put me in the ER. My endo was back only a few months after the surgery and now I couldn’t try any ovulation meds because of the cysts.

Back in the emergency room

The end of January I ended up back in the ER because my period pain was going in longer than normal and was mostly on my right side so I thought it couldn’t be endo-related. I went to urgent care to see if they could help me but they sent me to the ER because they thought it could be appendicitis. After a ton of tests it turns out it was just my endo and there was nothing they could do. Until January of this year I only had pain a little before, during, and a little after my period. It was some of the worst pain I have ever felt but at least I knew it would end, even if I knew it would come back.

Constant pain and feeling burdensome

I have had constant pain in my lower back, hips and pelvic area since the beginning of January and am beginning to feel hopeless. My quality of life has gone down since I am unable to do anything most of the time. I have started to feel like more of a burden to my friends and family. Especially my very supportive husband who has had to take on almost all of the responsibilities of our household for the last two months and due to the constant pain we have not been able to have sex as much as before. I have not had a full night sleep the entire time, I wake up in the middle of the night try to take pain pills and take a bath until they kick in which only helps sometimes.

Trying to cope while trying to conceive

I have tried a lot of treatment options such as adderall, naltrexone, Percocet, muscle relaxers, acupuncture, warm baths, cbd oil, heating pad, tens unit and have recently started pelvic floor physical therapy. There are some times where there is no combo that will take my pain away. I am more limited in treatment options since I am ttc and have begun to wonder if all of this pain is worth it to be able to have my own children. I started contemplating trying a hysterectomy even though there is only a chance it will help my symptoms. I began thinking even if it helps my symptoms for a few months is it worth it at this point?

Discussing pain and options with the specialist

I have an consultation with an endo specialist 03/04 but after that I don’t know how long it will be until I can have my surgery. I struggle to see how I can even make it to my consultation with this constant level of pain, fatigue, uncomfort and just low quality of life. Even though I am ttc it is very unlikely I will be able to get pregnant until after I have another surgery and have been talking to my doctor about getting back on birth control to see if that will help my symptoms until I can get my surgery so I can maybe improve my quality of life.

It was helpful to me to read people’s stories and see I’m not alone out here. Hopefully my story can help others find relief in the fact they are not alone.

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