Chronic Pain and Resilience
A few weeks ago I finally received laparoscopic excision surgery to remove endometriosis. I am feeling so grateful to have had access to this surgery, as I know that with the state of healthcare in the US, there are many barriers to care. I've had chronic, worsening pelvic pain for years and it has continued to get worse this last year with the most debilitating side effects. I've had chronic radiating and stabbing pelvic pain, GI issues, pain with sex, pain with bowel movements, nerve pain, bloating, fatigue, pelvic floor spasms and the list goes on. Not to mention the psychological toll that this takes on a person in pain every day with no answers.
Finally some answers & the care I needed
The urogynecology dept. At UC health in Longmont has been a godsend. Caitlyn Chapell, the next nurse practitioner there was the first person I saw who listened and had answers for me. I cried at our appointment because a pelvic exam was so painful AND I knew I was finally in the right place to get help. She told me that the surgeon there, Dr. Nelson, knew how to spot the forms this disease takes in the body, and would find it. On Feb 19th Dr. Nelson was able to excise (cut out) endometriosis lesions that were causing debilitating inflammation from my pelvic wall, posterior cul de sac, bowels, ovary and uterosacral ligaments. He also excised a fibroid on my uterus and a benign growth on my fallopian tubes.
I feel relieved to finally have some answers and a chance to heal and live life without pain.
Being gentle on myself both physically & emotionally
There are no cures for Endometriosis, only treatments. There is a possibility that it can come back, but I have to focus on the real possibility of lasting relief. For now, my body is inflamed and in need of rest and a whole lot of patience and nourishment. I am feeling better each day. I am looking forward to starting pelvic floor physical therapy which will begin to release the pelvic floor muscles that have been tight and guarding against pain for years.
I am using this surgery as a springboard to healing physically and emotionally. It is important for me to reflect on the trauma that is chronic pain, while also finding the grace and resilience in my body to heal. Who am I without pain? How do I heal my relationship to my body, which has been in a state of hypervigilance? This is a crucial moment is self-reflection and self-nourishment.
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