My 2 Year Post-Hysterectomy Anniversary
2 years ago, I went through with one of the biggest decisions I’ve ever had to make. I had a total hysterectomy and bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy. Although this surgery wasn’t specifically for endometriosis, I doubt I would have ever had it if I didn’t have this condition.
I’ve spoken a little about the experience recently, and how the neglect at the hands of the surgeon has affected me. This trauma has been difficult and I must admit, I’ve not really processed any of it yet.
This time a year ago, I felt completely lost. I was really struggling. Dealing with the aftershocks of medical trauma, and navigating this new world of menopause, alongside the rest of my health problems, all together became overwhelming.
So, how do I feel this year?
I don’t feel like I’ve received the support I should have post-surgery, and I know this is a common experience with hysterectomies. The medical world treats hysterectomies as any other surgery. But a hysterectomy isn’t just a surgery. It is a total adjustment to all aspects of a person's life.
Being thrown into the menopause at 35 years old, for me, was life altering. I went through three chemical menopause's when I was in my twenties, but I don’t feel that they prepared me for the real thing. I really had no idea on how much hormones change everything.
Although I’d previously had some relief from the symptoms of menopause, after various attempts at finding the correct dosage, I recently took the decision to stop my HRT. Because of this, I am now once again dealing with the symptoms. Although they aren’t easy to live with, I’m finding my own coping mechanisms. Whether I remain HRT free is as yet undecided though. I’m just taking each day as it comes.
One thing that I’ve struggled a lot with, is the fertility side of things. I very often think that if I hadn't had the hysterectomy, at least we could have tried for another baby. But, I know that's just me romanticizing the situation. It wasn't a possibility. Me carrying a baby just wasn't viable. It's a hard pill to swallow but, I hope that one day I'll be at peace with it.
Things are very different from this side regarding endometriosis. You do get treated differently and that can be frustrating. I have found people expect you to be better now.
Recently, I have been experiencing endometriosis pains again. But, it has been the biggest relief to not have to deal with the constant bleeding anymore. Without periods, my pain levels have significantly dropped and my other illnesses aren’t constantly flaring because of them either.
Was a hysterectomy the right choice?
I couldn't have given you an answer a year ago on whether or not I'd made the right choice. But, this year I can.
I made the right decision.
Although I’m still finding my way with a lot of things, I don’t feel quite so lost now. I am starting to get some support. And, above all, time really is a great healer.
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