Sex After a Hysterectomy: My Experience
When I was approaching my hysterectomy, one of the issues at the forefront of my concern was sex. I was mainly concerned that having a hysterectomy would adversely impact my sex life.
I was worried this could happen by either severing some nerves or dampening the sensation. I was also concerned about this happening indirectly by my hormones lowering and with it, my sex drive.
I was particularly nervous at the prospect of having my orgasms negatively affected, and especially about being unable to achieve orgasms post-hysterectomy. Before my hysterectomy, I was lucky that I still enjoyed sex except for the days I was actually on my period during its heaviest times or other times of the month when my hormones tended to be lower.
Painful sex with endometriosis
I know some people with endo and/or adeno who have a lot of pain and tenderness with penetrative sex, almost all or all of the time. So I felt fortunate that I had mostly escaped that potential complication that often defines my diseases.
I spent a lot of time on many forums with women and AFAB folks who had hysterectomies of various types. It seemed mixed as to whether it would impact sex or orgasm.
Some reported a marked improvement in their sex lives, a higher sex drive, and even better orgasms. Others noted the inability to orgasm, plunging sex drives (even if they kept their ovaries), vaginal dryness, and increased pain with intercourse.
I kept my cervix and ovaries after my hysterectomy
I decided to keep my cervix and ovaries when I had my hysterectomy partly due to my desire to retain my ability to orgasm and decent sex drive. Ovaries regulate hormones and their removal usually leads to sudden onset menopause in pre-menopausal people and with it, a lowered or lost sex drive.
However, I did get my tubes removed. Sometimes removing tubes and uterus can cut off enough blood supply to the ovaries to send them into temporary menopause, and sometimes this temporary status becomes permanent.
As for the cervix, studies seemed mixed as to whether retaining it benefits sex and orgasm. It seems it definitely hamper sex more of the time decades ago when surgeries were performed differently, but new innovations have lessened those risks.
Some with painful cervixes even find improved sex after its removal. My cervix, though narrow/short, wasn't particularly painful or prone to problems.
I had experienced cervical orgasms. So I decided to keep that too.
Sex after my surgery
What I can say is that sex for me after hysterectomy remained more or less the same. I was very relieved when I realized I could orgasm and have deeply penetrative sex without issue.
My sex drive has also remained around the same as it was before surgery. I tend to have a wildly fluctuating drive, dependent on the time of the month. Sometimes during the month, I have no interest and can go a couple of weeks without it.
But other times of the month, my sex drive becomes quite high and I can have it several times a week. I am taking it that this is because I am ovulating.
The only difference I have detected is a slight tenderness upon the beginning of sex in the cervix. Still, by going slow, that usually recedes and completely goes away within a minute. Most of all, what is a relief is not having to worry at all about pregnancy.
I didn't like the side effects of birth control
I always had a lot of bad side effects with hormonal contraceptives, so those were never a viable option for me. I have tried condoms, and I find I am somewhat sensitive to latex and don't like the feel of them.
I usually used a combination of withdrawal and watching the time of the month because I was in a monogamous relationship. I am also lucky I never had a pregnancy scare in recent years. The advanced state of the endo/adeno probably also made it hard to conceive.
Nonetheless, I like that I don't have to worry about that anymore. I don't have to watch the calendar or consider stopping intercourse before my partner can finish.
The choice to have the surgery is up to you
I hope this story might make some people contemplating a hysterectomy but worried about its consequences for their sex lives feel a little better. Ultimately, we're all individuals and have our own experiences.
Did your sex life improve or stay the same after a hysterectomy? Or did it change in a less positive way?
Please feel free to share your experiences in the comments section below.
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