Post-Op Blues

It has been 12 days since my excision surgery - Twelve days of mixed emotions and a little depression. It is kind of weird to say that I am sad surgery is over. You would think I would be happy. For many of us, we wait months even years for surgery. So there is a long time of preparing, leading up to it. The excitement, stress, nervousness, and high hopes and before you know it, it is over. I feel in a sense lost. Am I fixed? When will I start feeling better? When should I start planning my next surgery (because in reality, I feel I am going to need it)?

I didn't expect depression to hit me so hard this round. I don't recall having it after my first surgery. It could be because at that time, I was just thrilled to finally have a diagnosis. But this round, I can't really explain my sadness. I guess the stress of whether or not I will feel better is nagging at me. I am trying to remember my body went through trauma. While these surgeries are considered minor procedures, they are still moving around your organs and working inside of you. Your body will ache and need time to heal. Your mind will ache and need time to heal. I am exhausted - mentally and physically. I need time to heal.

Healing isn't easy

Healing is not a simple process and it angers me when people make you feel rushed. Comments like, "Your surgery was 12 days ago and your still depressed?". "Um, well, yes, Susan. I am. Thanks for pointing it out..." We all heal and handle things differently. I may be moving around better, but inside, I am still struggling. However, it is also important you do not allow yourself to get to an extreme dark place. Because that will not help you heal either. Over the course of the last two weeks, I have put together a list of things that have helped me during the healing process. It was important to me, to stay busy and find light even if I didn't want to. Here are some ideas for those post-op blues.

Hallmark Channel

I think one great thing that came out of having surgery in December was all the Christmas movies playing all day long on Hallmark. They made me laugh, cry, and get into the Christmas spirit. And for once, I actually had an excuse to lie there and be able to watch them. If Hallmark Channel isn't your jam, then Netflix, Hulu, whatever it is. Binge watch things you love.

Meditation

My go to whenever I am feeling anxious or stressed. I had found some stomach relaxation meditations and used them daily. Having issues with bowels has been my biggest problem with recovery. So, the stomach meditations have helped me find comfort.

Feeling all of your emotions

I have cried, I have yelled, pouted, laughed, sulked, been angry. Every emotion you can think of, I have felt it. It is so important that during recovery, you allow yourself to go through all the emotions you are feeling. Do not hold them back.

Reading

I love to read and so this has been a great distracter. I picked out three types of books. One about endometriosis (because it felt fitting), a personal development book, and just a silly journal that brought some joy.

Walking + knowing when to rest

Walk, walk, walk. For me, this is the best thing to do. I started doing this as soon as I got home from the hospital. We aren't talking about a hike or super speed walking. But just briskly moving around. If you have a treadmill, do the lowest speed. Walk around the neighborhood. Walk around your house, apartment wherever you live. Just make sure to move. It helped me mentally and it also helped with the pain from the gas they had pumped in during surgery. It is also important to know when to rest too - and to not feel guilty when you do.

Talking to others

It just so happened a few other of my social media friends were also getting surgery all around the same time I did. Reaching out to them and talking to them daily has been really helpful. Find that person you love to talk to. It is comforting.

Sticking to routine

I know especially for the first few days, there were certain things that I normally do, I just couldn't. But each morning, I still tried to stick to a basic routine. As soon as I got up, I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I got out of my pajamas and all though still put something comfy right back on, it felt good to change. It helped me feel ready to start my day. If there are other certain things you do daily, that do not require too much, do them. Try to stay in routine as much as you can. It helped me keep that 'normal' feeling.

Get outside + eat healthy + drink water

Even if it is your back yard, front porch whatever, get outside. Get some fresh air and vitamin D. You don't need to stay out long but enjoy sitting out there at least for a little while. Focusing also on eating healthy can help you receive the nutrients you need to heal. And for me, when I eat better, I mentally and physically feel better. As for water, well we all know how important it is to drink water. So drink it daily ALL day to help with any dehydration you may have from medications or anything else. This is also helpful for any constipation you may be experiencing.

Recovery is different for everyone. Some handle it easy, some find it tough. Just remember, recovery is not linear. It takes time. Each day can be different and you are on no timeline. You heal and recover at your own pace. What are some things that help keep your mind busy during recovery?