What I Do When Endometriosis Turns to Anger
We all know mood swings are normal. Some days are just rough, leaving us angry or mad. But for me, I have found my mood swings to be severe ever since endometriosis started showing up. The hold it takes over my body is scary. Add in pain and exhaustion and it's over. It becomes frustrating daily, not knowing if I will wake up my normal self or the chronic monster I have become.
My anxiety in certain situations has intensified and being able to control how I react to these situations is definitely tough. Everyday I do my best to seek happiness and joy. Because if I didn't, I would go crazy. But some days, depression and anxiety really sink in. Even certain things like when my husband is joking around with me, I used to be able to laugh but now I take offense to it. If someone is offering me help or advice, I become defensive.
When did endometriosis become so controlling? And how did I let myself become so angry?
Coping with anger
Bottling up anger can make it hard to live a life you love. It puts a strain on relationships, makes it hard to work or keep a career. But over these last few months, I have really been working on myself. I don't want to live with this illness being angry every day. No matter how hard it may be and how stressful endometriosis is, I want to be happy. So finding ways to cope with my anger when I am having a rough time was really important.
Breathing exercises and mediation
When I start to feel my mind race and blood boil, I close my eyes and take a deep breath in through my nose. I typically count to seven and then release my breath through my mouth, for a count of seven. I do this as many times as needed and find it to be my favorite because I can do it anywhere, anytime. If I am in a place where I can lay down, I lay flat on my back, place my hand over my tummy and one on my heart, and do the same breathing. And I usually return to a peaceful state of mind.
Every morning as soon as I wake up, I also practice mediation. I find listening to guided meditations to be calming and get me ready for the day. Starting the day with a positive mind set usually helps me through any bumps in the road I may come across. There are many apps available to use, but my favorite is Insight Timer.
Personal development books
Reading is one of my most favorite things to do. There is nothing better than cuddling up with a book. I have always found that to be relaxing ever since I was a kid. Whenever I am feeling angered, down, depressed or just flat out deflated, I reach for a personal development book. I find many of them to be filled with words of wisdom, support, help and positivity. A lot of times reading a personal development book will give me a kick in the behind that I needed, to snap out of this angry funk I was in. Most of the time it helps me forget what even made me angry and encourages me to be better - to do better. Besides personal development books, I also love reading books on endometriosis. It helps me better understand things and allows me to see I am not alone nor crazy. You can find a list of my favorite endometriosis books here.
Take a walk or just get outside
My most favorite place to be when I need to clear my head is outside. Whether I just walk around my neighborhood, go to the beach, take a hike or just sit on my back porch, it calms my soul and brings me back to life. Listening to the birds chirp and every day hustle and bustle is actually a reminder of just how beautiful life is and how small many of my problems are. It doesn't make them any less, but getting out into nature really helps me figure out how to react better to certain situations. And whatever I am angry at, gets left behind in the trees. If it is a rainy day and I cannot get outside or my body is too achy, playing nature sounds works just as well.
Talk to someone
I thank my lucky stars for the endo community everyday. The friends I have made and relationships I have built, makes me so happy. When I am having a really rough time, many of my endometriosis pals are there to help me. I also am very lucky my mom is always there to listen, offer advice and just help cool me down. If family and friends just don't seem to be an option for you to talk with, having a therapist is another great thing, especially on days where controlling emotions seems out of control. I find having a therapist who allows email or telehealth sessions, to be the most helpful.
Scream into a pillow or cry it out
I know this one sounds crazy but sometimes, it feels good to just scream. Let yourself feel how you are feeling, then let it go.
Has intimacy with your partner been affected because of endometriosis symptoms?