If You Had to Write Your Endometriosis a Letter, What Would It Say?

There are so many days I sit here, thinking about if endometriosis was a person, what I would say to her (or him!). Would I yell? Would I be kind? I honestly don't really know. Somedays, I feel like I get along with endometriosis just fine. Other days, I wish I could befriend her. But if I have learned one thing since my diagnosis, it's that endometriosis has changed my life for the BETTER. Yeah, I said it. I know feeling crappy daily, constant doctors appointments, the possibility of not having my own flesh and blood child, and the exhaustion that comes with this disease but, the changes I have made in my life, I don't think I would have ever made without my diagnosis.

I like to believe that there was a specific reason endometriosis found me, and it isn't to torture me or make my life hard. No, instead, it was to help me find my purpose in life. To see that I do serve a specific purpose in this life. And for that, I am grateful. So with that said, here is what I would write to my endometriosis.

Dear endometriosis,

I want to start off with saying thank you. You have given me this whole other life I didn't know even could ever exist. And all though it is no walk in the park, it has been a gift. There are days where I really dislike you though. There are days where you make life so hard, that sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier to not be here. But then I stop to think about how much hardships you have put me through, and how each and every single time, I always make it through them. You have taught me how to be strong. You have proven to me just how strong I actually am. And knowing I have the ability to fight is what keeps me going.

Also...

When I was at my weakest, you knew what I needed: to leave my job. And while that was the scariest decision to make, it ended up being the best one. Without you, I would have stayed at that job. A job where I wasn't appreciated. Where I was 100% unhappy, way before you even started to show your face. And now, now I have built a business, on my own. Doing something I love, on my own terms. Never in a million years would I have the guts or belief to do something like that. So thank you, endometriosis.

When I was feeling alone, far from home and friends, my diagnosis brought a community of women who turned into best friends. If you never picked me and my body, I most likely would have never met some of the most amazing people I have in my life right now. In fact, I don't think I ever had such amazing friends like I do now. So thank you, endometriosis.

Alcohol and junk food used to be my go to. Anxiety, depression and stress will do that. And while YOU still do cause those three things in me, it is because of you that I have to be careful with what I drink and eat, and how much I consume. In a way, you saved me. I am more mindful of what I put into my body now. So thank you, endometriosis.

I have never been one to voice my opinion or speak up. Being bullied in school, I always felt being quiet was best. Maybe people would leave me alone. But because of you, I have no choice to speak up. I have to voice my opinion and speak  up about my illness in order to receive proper treatment and in order to get those in my life to understand. Speaking up has given me the courage and confidence I needed, to speak up about more things in my life. I no longer hide in fear. So thank you, endometriosis.

Of course...

I still do dislike you, as I said above. The pain I feel daily because of you, the not knowing if I will be a mom, the people and doctors who treat me as if I am mental because they don't understand you, the possibility of losing organs, the stress and exhaustion that comes with it all- really does take a toll on me. But even so, I'm not mad at you. You chose me for reasons I think I understand and most like many other reasons I will never understand. I don't want to yell at you or call you names (at least not today). But I do want you to know one thing, you will never defeat me. You have created a warrior ready to fight. Who is ready to make the best of this life with you. So again, thank you for choosing me, endometriosis. Here's to living life with you and making it the best I can.

Sincerely,

Me and my body xx

What is one thing you would stick in your letter to endometriosis?