Woman helping another woman finish a climb up a cliff

You Are Not A Burden For Having Endometriosis

Having endometriosis, or any chronic illness for that matter can oftentimes make you feel like a burden. The need to become dependent on others, bombard loved ones with appointments and surgeries, or need others to meet your accommodations during social outings, can put a lot of pressure on you.

Add in not feeling well most days and you begin to wonder if everyone would be happier if you just didn't exist.

Feeling like you are a burden

They wouldn't be happier if you didn't exist. You are far from a burden. While endometriosis certainly can be and seem like a burden to you and your life, it does not mean that you are one to others.

But yet, so many of us have trouble seeing that. Within this last year, my husband has had to take so many days off from work for me and my health appointments.

Sometimes it doesn't hit me until I really stop and think about, "Holy crap, he has really taken so many days off for me." Then I start to begin to feel a sense of embarrassment, that I have to rely on him and make him move his life around, just to drive me to procedures and appointments.

The vicious cycle of stress and negative thoughts continues every time I need to schedule something.

Is my husband mad at me? Will he get in trouble at work for taking all these days? Does he wish he married someone else?

A wise friend told me once when I was in tears telling her how my husband seemed so annoyed that he needed to yet again, put in some more time at work for me, that he isn't annoyed at me. He is annoyed at the fact of what I am going through.

Annoyed that besides just taking me these appointments, there isn't much more he can do to help me.

Warriors, that is absolutely so true. You don't realize that those in your life aren't annoyed at you and think you are a burden to them.

They are actually frustrated with the fact that you even have to deal with what you are dealing with. They are frustrated that there really is not much more they can do, to help you feel better.

It is time you start to realize, having an illness is not your fault.

Guess what, all those things you do, because you feel like a burden, it's time to stop doing them!

Start saying no more often

If the sound of the event stresses you out, say no. You don't always need to say yes. Saying no doesn't make you a burden. And you don't need to explain. Just say no. This keeps you from stressing about needing to cancel as the event gets closer and disappointing others. But guess what, if you do say yes and cancel last minute, you are still not a burden.

Take the offers for help

If you need help, take it. You are not a burden for needing help.

Most of the time, others WANT to help you. Accept that it is okay to ask or need help.

Pushing past your limits

Listen, pushing yourself too far is not good for anyone. You or those in your life.

If the laundry needs to be done but you are having a high pain day, don't push yourself to get it done. Not being able to complete a task does not make you a burden.

Someone else can get it done or you can try again tomorrow.

Putting your health on hold

I get it. Numerous doctor's appointments are not ideal or fun.

But if they are needed, you need to make them. Never put your health on hold because you are worried about messing up someone's plans.

Needing to see the doctor, even if it is more often than you'd like, does not make you a burden.

Shutting out those close to you

If you don't tell people about what's going on with you, it makes you less of a burden, right? Wrong.

Stop shutting people out. You need a support system and those in your life want to be there for you.

No matter what. You are not burdening them by keeping them updated on what is going on with you and your health, trust me.

Stop aplogizing

Yes, there is such a thing as this.

Stop apologizing if someone needs to bring you to the doctor. Stop apologizing if you have to cancel because you don't feel well. Stop apologizing if appointments take longer than usual. Stop apologizing for existing!

Some things in life are just out of your control, and they certainly don't need an apology.

You are not a burden for having endometriosis. You are a human, that has been dealt a hard hand. Be kind to yourself. 

By providing your email address, you are agreeing to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Endometriosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Join the conversation

Please read our rules before commenting.