What to Expect When Dating Someone With Endometriosis
Last updated: July 2022
It’s a tale as old as dating apps. You’ve been casually meeting some new human beings for a while, going on a few good dates and some bad ones, and you may have even been ghosted. It happens to the best of us. And then one day, you come across someone you like, and, plot twist, they have endometriosis.
What is endometriosis?
There is still very little known about this disease, but in general terms, it is a chronic illness, meaning it currently has no cure. Some research links endometriosis to a type of immune malfunction, although many doctors still consider it a hormonal imbalance.1
However, what should matter to you is how it feels for your partner: painful inflammation, internal adhesions, and scarring that can stick organs together. Most of us with endometriosis live in chronic pain, and we also suffer from excruciatingly painful periods and severe blood loss.
What you should know when dating someone with this disease?
For you, dear endometriosis-free person, the fact that your potential romantic partner has this disease won’t affect you in the slightest. Yet there are things that, if you like this person, you could benefit from knowing.
Bleeding and or spotting during sex can and will happen.
This is something that can happen during intercourse and right after. It does not mean that your partner is in pain, but it means that you have to be cool with things getting messy. Having a good and kind sense of humor goes a long way. It also helps if you're not too precious about your bed sheets.
Sex can be painful.
For many of us, intimate relations can be very painful, and it can hurt during intercourse and can leave us quite sore after. This is why taking things very slow, and checking whether your partner is OK, will make things easier and help manage any pain.
Also, our focus may not be penetrative sex. There are so many things that can be done during sex that are enjoyable and don’t require penetration. Reading up on this will make you very attractive.
We need you to be cool.
Endometriosis is an illness with a tendency to sabotage the lives of those who live with it. I've lost count of the many embarrassing experiences I've suffered because of my unpredictable insides. Some of us follow a particular diet to manage our symptoms, others avoid drinking alcohol, and I personally never wear white.
Just like the rest of the world, we are full of quirks. But we have been rejected for said quirks, so being cool with our choices is paramount. No one chooses to live with chronic fatigue, occasional brain fog, and a lot of pain, but how we manage these symptoms is something that, for many of us, has taken a lot of time and a lot of self-care.
Please respect our boundaries. They are there for a reason.
Knowledge is power, and romantic.
If you happen to have developed a crush on someone with endometriosis (full disclosure: we are adorable), knowing how this illness affects our bodies and minds will ensure the experience is fun for you and your chosen person.
The fact that you care enough to read this is a fantastic turn-on for anyone living with this terrible disease.
Which symptoms are you experiencing the most this week? (Check all that apply):