Taste of Motherhood

As somebody who has had stage 4 endometriosis since I was 14, I have been aware of potential fertility issues for an extremely long time. This did not mean that I did not have a desire to be a mother. It simply meant that I was doing my best to come to terms with the fact that I would likely never have my own children. I did find myself in a situation that allowed me to have a taste of motherhood by having custody of two girls for a year. This experience definitely made a lasting impression on me and made me want a future with children to call my own.

Situation

At the time I was married. His brother was going through a divorce, the wife was an unfit mother, and he was always working long hours. They had two daughters who needed structure and a parent figure. The father knew that his work would not be flexible enough to allow him to properly parent the girls, especially with school starting. Since I had proven to be able to care for the girls over the summer when they were all three staying at my house, he gave me custody of the girls for a year.

Life with the girls

There was a little bit of adjust for the girls. They were not used to any discipline or structure in their lives. The only taste they had have of it was from me over the summer, but they still had their father come in at dinner time and undo so much of what I accomplished with them in the day. So, having firm rules with me and with school was a big change for them. But honestly once they adjusted to having rules, I was very surprised to see how little trouble I had with their behavior, compared to how they had behaved with their father.

Since I did not work, I was able to spend the morning getting them ready for school, have breakfast with them, and them take them to school. Then later in the day I would pick them up from school, take them to a local park to burn off some energy, and we would go home to work on homework and dinner. The oldest was unfortunately behind education-wise due to the lack of proper attention from her parents. I work closely with the school and her to make sure she understood her studies.

I ended up spending a large amount of time giving the girls the kind of life they never had before. We obviously handled school, but we also went to the zoo, children’s waterparks, and other kid-appropriate places. When they were sick, I handled their doctor appointments and the extra cuddles every kid wants when they do not feel well. We also spend so many nights cuddled up in my bed.

Once it was over

Sadly, it was not agreed upon the girls staying with me permanently. Once their father and his girlfriend had their lives situated, the kids went back to living with him. While it is obviously not all fun and games raising children, it was still a part of my life that I wish could have lasted longer. This experience also made me realize that adopting is something that I want to look into in a few years. Even though Endometriosis has bestowed infertility on me, I really do want a family, with kids that I can call my ’own’. Additionally, I can say I already know that I can love adopted children as my own.