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First Surgery and Nervous

Hello! I am 24 (almost 25) and was just scheduled for my first laparoscopic surgery next month and I am nervous. I have always had pain leading up to my period and after my period. In July of this year, I started bleeding and didn't stop. I also have had very erratic periods. They would come 2 weeks at a time.

I went to see an OBGYN who ordered both a trans-vaginal and trans-abdominal ultrasound. Both came back "fairly normal" (which was weird). And he didn't say what fairly normal meant) but the doctor still wants to do laparoscopic surgery because I was still bleeding.

I have always had a sinking suspicion something was not right vaginally. I would have sharp pain during and after sex. My thighs, legs, back and abdomen hurt like crazy leading up to, during, and after my period. I have battled with painful constipation my entire life - tears and everything. I have had to leave work early because the pain (and blood) is just too much.

I think I am trying to talk myself out of having the surgery. That I can handle this. But I also know it runs in my family and this is the best possible thing for answers.

What does everyone suggest for handling the new reality I am facing? How do you get through surgery?

  1. Hi there , I am so happy you that you have reached out to our community for feedback! Thank you for your question.

    I can absolutely understand your anxiousness regarding a laparoscopy. I have had to unfortunately undergo many surgeries (not all endo related), but a lap was my first in my early 20s. Of course it is so important to remember that everyone experiences are different, so should other community members chime in to share their feedback as well, it's important to keep that in mind.

    For me personally, recovery from the lap was a bit difficult, but I do know truthfully, I did not provide myself with enough time to be gentle on myself, take it easy & to allow myself to recover as long as I should have. If I had allowed myself to do so, I suspect recovery overall would not have been as drawn out.

    I too had received both trans-vaginal & abdominal ultrasounds & they too were normal aside from spotting my fibroids. It did not detect my endo. It was not until I had my lap they were able to definitively do so. It is typically the "gold standard" to diagnose. You can read more about that here.

    On another note, I was not told until after my lap, that should I have children (which I have), I would have to deliver via c-section due to scar tissue, which was a bit discouraging to learn. I am not sure if that was unique to me or if that is what drs overall then recommend.

    That being said, the lap did help my endo symptoms & periods a bit for a few years, but symptoms & pain are bit now more erratic/unpredictable (I think) since having children.

    Hopefully some of this was helpful. You may also want to check out this article here where some members shared their feedback on getting a lap.

    Do keep us posted if you can!! Sending all encouraging thoughts your way.

    1. Hi , I think is completely normal to feel nervous about surgery. I’ve had several laparoscopies, and I felt very anxious about each of them. My brain was inundated with “what if” and “how about” and dozens of other questions. Having all sorts of crazy thoughts is normal.

      What I learnt from my experience was that, it really is a time to slow down, pre-surgery to handle the emotions that may arise, and post-surgery, to ensure our body heals. Don’t rush anything, be super kind to yourself.

      I was able to move around after three days… I think? But I focused on bed rest for the first week. I slept so much. Sleep is healing, so do as much as you can, and don’t feel guilty about it.

      My second surgery, with excision and removal of multiple adhesions, helped with several of the most disrupting symptoms (no more painful sex for me) but it didn’t make a difference with others. I don’t regret having it done, even if it didn’t get rid of the disease. It made my life better, and I am so grateful for it.

      I hope this helps. Please know we’re here for you, and that you can reach whenever you need – Jessie (team member)

      1. Hi and ,
        Thank you both for your kind words and advice. I am trying to process all my emotions. I have always been someone who just handles her stuff. I feel like I'm "bugging" people with my issues (which I know isn't true). My surgery is on a Friday and unfortunately due to me working from home still, some rules my employer has and my health insurance I have to return to work by Tuesday at the latest or take an unpaid leave of absence. The last one I absolutely cannot afford. I plan on sleeping as much as possible and I have my wonderful boyfriend staying with me Friday and Saturday (we live together, he has no choice lol) and my parents coming Sunday while he returns to work because he doesn't get paid if he takes off. All of this has certainly caused extra emotions I am trying to process. There are days I'm fine. But there are days I'm also a crying, mad mess!

        1. I know you will get through this! It sounds like you have a good line up for help while you recover <3 Can definitely understand it all being an extra cause of emotions though, that is totally normal. Definitely just take it easy and do what you can during recovery. The first two days were definitely the hardest for me and slowly after that I was able to get up and move around a lot more and do things for myself. <3 -Kimberli (Team Member)

      2. Hi Beth. I completely understand where you're at with your emotions right now. I had the surgery last month and was sort of a mess leading up to it due to nerves of the "what if" but also hope of a potential diagnosis. It can be confusing when someone finally may have an answer for you after all those years of being told that "there is nothing wrong with you."

        I was able to be up and moving a few days later like Jessie mentioned above but am still on the long road to recovery. It requires a lot of patience but i definitely have ZERO regrets, like Jo above. It's important to advocate for yourself and NEVER feel like you are an inconvenience. As a human especially a woman, you deserve to feel and be at your healthiest! You deserve to be listened to.

        Good luck at your surgery! As an fellow endo sister, I'm sending positive vibes your way 😀

        1. Hi there , just wanted to thank you for being a part of the community and being an awesome supporter to others <3 We hope you are feeling well! -Kimberli (Team Member)

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