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Endometriosis and sex

Hi there,

My partner suffers from endometriosis and unfortunately it can cause pain for her during sex. I was wandering, does anyone have any advice for the guys who really want to make sex as comfortable as possible for their partners? I always check in during sex and know when shes uncomfortable, and Google only goes so far with tips we can BOTH try. We communicate about our sex life very openly, but I want to get some more Insight as to what other tips are out there that we can try, because the last thing I want to do is hurt her and want her experience to be as enjoyable as possible. Girls, anything you do that helps with pain? Also, anyone tried CBD oil?

Yours sincerley,
The Boyfriend.

  1. Hello , firstly I just want to say, you rock. Your partner’s feelings and enjoyment seem super important to you, which is of course how it should be, but I just wanted to thank you for being like that. Not everyone is like you 😉

    The fact that you actively “check in” and ask is key. But I would also add, that in my experience, sometimes too many questions can add a little pressure. We also need time to maybe, veeeeeery slowly, ease into it all, and work out if what we are doing feels good. Just because it’s not great immediately doesn’t mean it won’t be super good in a few minutes.

    In my case, there are certain positions that work better than others, and that’s one thing that’s good to have in mind. So maybe a casual, fun conversation in a relaxed environment, over dinner, or coffee, when you’re casually hanging out, about what she enjoys the most, can be a super useful thing to do.

    It may be worth, on her side, to have a diary, or a calendar, just to be aware of the days in which sex can be more painful. This should not eliminate the ability to be spontaneous, but it can help you be more informed on when to be extra careful, or maybe leave out penetration from the equation.

    I hope this helps. I am just another patient and an advocate of this disease, so I am speaking from my own experience. The links Joanna shared above are all super interesting reads, so do check them out.

    In the meantime, if you have more questions, reach out to us, and we will do our best to help 😀 – Jessie (team member)

    1. Hi , so happy you’ve reached out for advice. I myself have suffered from pain during sex due to endometriosis and this is what I found helped:

      - Lots of foreplay. The more aroused I was, the better everything felt. That’s true in any circumstance, but especially when I suffered with pain.

      - In the same vein as above, use lots of lube. It makes everything glide smoother and therefore less chance of putting pressure on the endometriosis spots.

      - For me, deep penetration hurt the most, so doing it missionary style worked better. You can also try having her put a pillow underneath her hips so the angle of the penetration doesn’t hurt as much. I’d experiment and see what position feels best.

      - Avoid long periods of penetration. Going back to my first point: prolong the foreplay. There’s lots of pleasurable things you can do outside of penetration (for both of you).

      Hope this was useful and you and your girlfriend continue to have pleasurable sex.

      Christina - team member

      1. I know the other ladies provided you with some pretty awesome advice but I just wanted to chime in as well. Firstly say, you are seriously awesome for reaching out for advice and trying to do what you can to help your partner. This makes my heart so very happy!

        Secondly, agree with what was said above. Just checking in is really important. Different positions are certainly better than others. It is important to try them all out and see what feels the best. Missionary style certainly worked best for me and my partner as well as Christina said.

        Here is an article that may be helpful as well.

        Hoping this was all helpful. Sending you and your partner good thoughts! -Kimberli (Team member)

        1. Hi! I just wanted to share info on a free webinar regarding endometriosis and sexual health led by Dr. Kathy Huang at NYU Langone this upcoming Monday, May 24, 2021. Dr. Huang is an excision surgery (nd one of my doctors) with a focus on increasing education, conversation and community for those of us, on topics that range from non-surgical approaches, comorbidities and sexual health. Please join us!

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