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Endometriosis and sex

Hi there,

My partner suffers from endometriosis and unfortunately it can cause pain for her during sex. I was wandering, does anyone have any advice for the guys who really want to make sex as comfortable as possible for their partners? I always check in during sex and know when shes uncomfortable, and Google only goes so far with tips we can BOTH try. We communicate about our sex life very openly, but I want to get some more Insight as to what other tips are out there that we can try, because the last thing I want to do is hurt her and want her experience to be as enjoyable as possible. Girls, anything you do that helps with pain? Also, anyone tried CBD oil?

Yours sincerley,
The Boyfriend.

  1. Hello @TheBoyFri3nd , firstly I just want to say, you rock. Your partner’s feelings and enjoyment seem super important to you, which is of course how it should be, but I just wanted to thank you for being like that. Not everyone is like you 😉

    The fact that you actively “check in” and ask is key. But I would also add, that in my experience, sometimes too many questions can add a little pressure. We also need time to maybe, veeeeeery slowly, ease into it all, and work out if what we are doing feels good. Just because it’s not great immediately doesn’t mean it won’t be super good in a few minutes.

    In my case, there are certain positions that work better than others, and that’s one thing that’s good to have in mind. So maybe a casual, fun conversation in a relaxed environment, over dinner, or coffee, when you’re casually hanging out, about what she enjoys the most, can be a super useful thing to do.

    It may be worth, on her side, to have a diary, or a calendar, just to be aware of the days in which sex can be more painful. This should not eliminate the ability to be spontaneous, but it can help you be more informed on when to be extra careful, or maybe leave out penetration from the equation.

    I hope this helps. I am just another patient and an advocate of this disease, so I am speaking from my own experience. The links Joanna shared above are all super interesting reads, so do check them out.

    In the meantime, if you have more questions, reach out to us, and we will do our best to help 😀 – Jessie (team member)

    1. Hello, I am a doctoral candidate doing qualitative research on Endo. Please check out the description below and contact me/complete the survey if interested. Also feel free to share this study!

      Title -
      A Biopsychosocial and Transactional Understanding of Endometriosis and Childhood Abuse: A Phenomenological Study

      Purpose -
      The purpose of this study is to examine the essence of the experience of women living with endometriosis and a history of childhood abuse. Through the interview process, the participants’ lifeworld – their past, present, and future – will be accessed and meaning will be derived at individual and group levels. Utilizing the biopsychosocial model and transactional model of stress and coping, the results will attempt to reflect upon how women who have both of these experiences build understand through cognitive development about their world and existence.

      Eligibility -
      Women who are 18-45 years old, have a diagnosis of endometriosis and a history of childhood abuse (sexual, physical, emotional, verbal, etc.), and whom complete this questionnaire (https://springfieldcollege.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cwpClLw9u7Pe537) may be eligible to participate in the study.

      Method -
      After completion of the questionnaire, participants may be asked to attend a recorded in-person or virtual semi-structured interview that will last approximately 60 minutes. The highest standards of consent, confidentiality, and anonymity will be upheld. All individuals selected for the interview stage will be sent the results from the interpretive phenomenological analysis both for verification of accuracy and as acknowledgement of their time and effort.

      Contact -
      Virginia Schwager, M.Ed., Psy.D. Candidate, Springfield College
      Email - Endostudy2018@gmail.com
      Questionnaire - https://springfieldcollege.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cwpClLw9u7Pe537

  2. Hi @TheBoyFri3nd, so happy you’ve reached out for advice. I myself have suffered from pain during sex due to endometriosis and this is what I found helped:

    - Lots of foreplay. The more aroused I was, the better everything felt. That’s true in any circumstance, but especially when I suffered with pain.

    - In the same vein as above, use lots of lube. It makes everything glide smoother and therefore less chance of putting pressure on the endometriosis spots.

    - For me, deep penetration hurt the most, so doing it missionary style worked better. You can also try having her put a pillow underneath her hips so the angle of the penetration doesn’t hurt as much. I’d experiment and see what position feels best.

    - Avoid long periods of penetration. Going back to my first point: prolong the foreplay. There’s lots of pleasurable things you can do outside of penetration (for both of you).

    Hope this was useful and you and your girlfriend continue to have pleasurable sex.

    Christina - team member

    1. Hello, I am a doctoral candidate doing qualitative research on Endo. Please check out the description below and contact me/complete the survey if interested. Also feel free to share this study!

      Title -
      A Biopsychosocial and Transactional Understanding of Endometriosis and Childhood Abuse: A Phenomenological Study

      Purpose -
      The purpose of this study is to examine the essence of the experience of women living with endometriosis and a history of childhood abuse. Through the interview process, the participants’ lifeworld – their past, present, and future – will be accessed and meaning will be derived at individual and group levels. Utilizing the biopsychosocial model and transactional model of stress and coping, the results will attempt to reflect upon how women who have both of these experiences build understand through cognitive development about their world and existence.

      Eligibility -
      Women who are 18-45 years old, have a diagnosis of endometriosis and a history of childhood abuse (sexual, physical, emotional, verbal, etc.), and whom complete this questionnaire (https://springfieldcollege.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cwpClLw9u7Pe537) may be eligible to participate in the study.

      Method -
      After completion of the questionnaire, participants may be asked to attend a recorded in-person or virtual semi-structured interview that will last approximately 60 minutes. The highest standards of consent, confidentiality, and anonymity will be upheld. All individuals selected for the interview stage will be sent the results from the interpretive phenomenological analysis both for verification of accuracy and as acknowledgement of their time and effort.

      Contact -
      Virginia Schwager, M.Ed., Psy.D. Candidate, Springfield College
      Email - Endostudy2018@gmail.com
      Questionnaire - https://springfieldcollege.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cwpClLw9u7Pe537

  3. I know the other ladies provided you with some pretty awesome advice but I just wanted to chime in as well. Firstly say, you are seriously awesome for reaching out for advice and trying to do what you can to help your partner. This makes my heart so very happy!

    Secondly, agree with what was said above. Just checking in is really important. Different positions are certainly better than others. It is important to try them all out and see what feels the best. Missionary style certainly worked best for me and my partner as well as Christina said.

    Here is an article that may be helpful as well. https://endometriosis.net/living/tips-sex/

    Hoping this was all helpful. Sending you and your partner good thoughts! -Kimberli (Team member)

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