My life with Endometriosis

Hey, everyone! I'm 18 years old. I started having symptoms of polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) when I was 14. Then, by the time I was between the ages 15 and 17, I was having severe symptoms and always in excessive amounts of pain. One doctor finally said this sounds like endometriosis and my world changed.

I was sent to a specialist. After listening to me and doing the necessary tests, he said, this is consistent with endometriosis and we'll start treating her for endometriosis; I was only 17. I was happy because they could finally put a name to what was making me so violently ill, having extended periods for weeks, vomiting, bloating (I couldn't do a laparoscopy because it's expensive.).

Endo treatment did nothing for the pain

But that happiness was short-lived after the first treatment plan failed. I was losing myself, searching for pain medications that would just stop the pain entirely. Not only that, I didn't feel like a teenager because most of my time was spent inside in pain or vomiting from the side effects of Morphine or a Fentanyl patch.

I grew isolated and angry as my endometriosis worsened

As I got sicker, I became someone I could not recognize. I was so angry (I'm still angry.) and isolated. I stopped talking to friends. I did not get to experience that high school romance because I was closed off. Living with endometriosis and PCOS really erased the girl who always laughed or did silly dances to every song. The girl who always wanted to go out and have fun was bound to a bed and pill bottles.

Sometimes I wondered why me? What did I do? Why is this disease hurting me so much? Some days I question if I am really feeling pain or if I'm pretending. I've missed out on having a teenage life because of endo. My friends couldn't stick around because I was too isolated and I didn't allow anyone close to me. I felt so weak. I couldn't have them seeing me losing and gaining weight, and tired and exhausted from staying up late from being in too much pain.

Fight back with me

Endometriosis has taken away a lot from me – my smile, my laughter. Sometimes I miss the younger girl I was. I've had to put my degree on pause because I can't function without medications. Everyday is pain. Every single day, I am in pain.

I have never shared how I felt about having endometriosis, and as I write this with tears, I know there are a lot of women who can relate to the anger and isolation this disease can cause. But you have to take back that power from endometriosis. You'll be okay.

Sending love and light to my endo sisters.

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