It's Not Just the Symptoms, but Also the Comments

The weeks before Halloween were tough. I’d been having a hard time sleeping due to back and hip pain. I kept tossing and turning, which did not help with my fatigue. I had not felt like doing much. I felt tired all the time.
My daughter even noticed how I didn’t have any energy to decorate for Halloween (By the way, I love to decorate.). I had trouble walking/standing/laying down. I thought to myself, it will pass, trying to comfort myself and be strong through it. Then came the comments.

Rude comments greeted me everywhere

A complete stranger at the doctor’s waiting area came up to me and said, “Want a good weight loss tip?”
I thought to myself, are you serious?
My answer: “No.”
She persisted. “But it’s very good.”
I just turned away thinking, what is wrong with this person? What right do they have to judge and want to give me advice when I was just there sitting minding my own business? Why do I need to tell them I have endo? It’s none of their business.
Then, at work, I ran across a co-worker I hadn’t seen in a while and she asked, “Are you pregnant?” Yet again, my mind was just thinking, ugh! Endo belly! I said,”No,” but this time I did say, “It's endometriosis.”
She looked at me confused.

Even my mom noted my swollen belly

Finally, there was my own mom – as soon as I walked into her home. No, “Hi.” No nothing. I was greeted immediately with, “Oh, my. Your stomach is so bloated. That’s not normal!”
I struggled to find words and just blurted out, “I haven’t had a period yet,” and left the room. Mind you, I have had gazillion conversations with my mom about endo. Sigh. It’s frustrating to constantly feel like no one understands. It just feels so lonely at times. I get tired of talking about it, but then also, when I do, I feel like no one listens. So, why bother.

I am grateful for the community support

I just go on through my day having to ignore symptoms, ignore comments, just being grateful to be alive and that I can be a part of this group that does understand. Thank you all!!! Staying hopeful.

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