Naming Ceremony for Miscarriages
Last updated: October 2021
In 2007, I ended up having two miscarriages, both times I did not know I was pregnant. This was devastating for me and something I ignored for a decade because when I was a kid all I wanted to do was be a mom. Some girls fantasize about their perfect wedding, I fantasized about the perfect family I wanted. Loving and funny husband and a couple of kids.
Three years ago I was watching the TV show 'Private Practice' and one of the characters I really like got pregnant while on drugs and the resulting fetus ended up having no brain. Later in the series, she's talking to someone about how naming her baby after it was born helped her heal and cope. This resonated with me and I decided to look up information about picking names for the babies miscarried.
I read that having a ceremony where you name the miscarried baby helps with the grieving process as well as coming to terms with the loss. (This also applies to stillborn babies and aborted babies.) As I didn't know their sex, I went with gender-neutral names.
I ended up coming up with a small little ceremony, and on Mother's Day the following year, I had the naming ceremony. I ended up picking a spot to have the ceremony in a place that is close to my home and I can visit from time to time.
I honestly do feel like it has helped the grieving process. 14 years after the miscarriages and I'm in a spot where I can acknowledge my loss and work through the grief to heal.
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