What’s the First Step?

I find it so helpful to be in community with fellow chronic illness warriors. It’s connection with people who “get it". It’s that opportunity to learn together and to help lift each other up.

Most recently, I was talking with several women who all experience chronic pain. As we explored different habits that we were finding success with, one woman said something that really resonated with me. “I was starting to get overwhelmed in thinking about all the goals that I wanted to accomplish,” she said. “So, I decided I wasn’t going to use the word goal anymore. I know goals are positive, but it simple overwhelmed me.” I could see everyone’s heads nod and almost a sense of relief like, “You too?”

She continued, “I decided whenever there’s something that I want and/or need to do, I’m simply going to ask myself what’s the first step I need to take to accomplish that? It feels much easier and once I’ve accomplished step one, then I can focus on step two and so on.” The words we use are powerful. They can create a feeling in our body that can support us or sometimes unintentionally hold us back.

Re-focusing our health goals

Author Danielle LaPorte shares a similar mindset in her book, The Desire Map. If goals feel too pressure-filled – especially in the context of goals for your health - then focus on how you want to feel and begin working towards that feeling. The beauty of this approach is that there are things that we can do in this moment to evoke that desired feeling, even before we’ve reached the milestone of our “goal.”

How do we apply this to living with endometriosis?

Managing my goals and symptoms

Well, I currently have some symptoms that make me anxious and worried that a flare is on the horizon.

The struggle with endometriosis, as we all know, is that there’s no definitive test that can distinguish if it’s active or not. The only certain way to know is through the laparoscopy procedure, and even that isn’t commonly practiced any more. And describing the symptoms to my doctor can be a struggle because pain is relative – how can my doctor understand my description of pain from the next person?

Thinking about this in my own personal journey, I want to feel at peace with how I’m keeping endometriosis at bay. Basically, I want to stop second guessing and worrying over every spark pain. So, what’s my first step?

Schedule an appointment with my gynecologist to discuss my symptoms and gain her advice. With my appointment on the calendar, my next step was to prep for the appointment. What questions did I have, and summary of symptoms did I want to discuss?

During the appointment, I was able to get a better understanding of how endometriosis is currently managed. She didn’t have concerns about the symptoms I described so that in and of itself put my mind at ease... and therefore my body at ease.

Advocating for ourselves, without creating stress

Taking our health one step can really help to eliminate unnecessary stress and overwhelm. We don’t have to figure it all out ourselves. I’m a firm believer in being your own health advocate, but taking it one step at a time is tremendously helpful.

This single piece of advice made such a difference for me. What advice have your received from someone in the endo/chronic pain community that has made a difference in your life?