Why I Have Sex Before Dinner

I have a lot of stomach issues. And while my worst menstrual cramps save themselves for my period, I can upset my digestive tract the entire month. When I share this with endometriosis sufferers, or anyone with a gastrointestinal disorder, they feel my pain. Needless to say, there's a lot of unsexy stuff that can happen after a meal.

While having sex right before bed can be a good way to get to sleep, it's hard to get in the mood when I'm gassy and bloated. Since I'd rather have sex when I feel sexy, I usually don't get it on after dinner.

Why food hurts

I don't know if I have endo on my bowels, but I do exhibit something doctors call visceral hypersensitivity.¹ This sensitivity means the lining of my gut overreacts, sending signals of pain when there shouldn't be any. When this happens with food, not only does my belly expand, my entire abdomen and pelvis hurts. If I had any endo cramping before the distenstion, it feels much worse after.

I try to limit my problem foods — a group known as FODMAPs — but the amount of food itself can be a problem. That's where dinner becomes difficult. I eat small portions throughout the day, but any amount of food that people would consider "normal" tends to leave my belly inflated. If I have anything with sugar, multiply those symptoms.

When I have sex instead

Sometimes I will initiate a lovemaking session myself before we start making dinner or while it's cooking. If my husband is working, I will actually ask him if he wants to have sex later — which he knows means after work and before I put food in my belly.

I'll admit, it can be annoying to take sex off the table just because of food. If my husband wasn't so understanding, I'm not sure how my planning method would go over. But my experience is so much better when I don't feel like a pumped up balloon. And my husband would rather have planned sex than no sex, so it works for us.