What No Longer Having a Period Has Been Like
As I approach this upcoming anniversary, it got me thinking about when I had my period. I started reading over some of my posts on here that I wrote in the months and weeks leading up to my surgery, and it's interesting to see what I thought I would feel versus what my experience has been.
In particular, I wrote in one post about the upcoming surgery: "In some strange way, I will miss my period, in the way you might miss someone who has hurt you but was still always there and you are used to them, or even sometimes reminded you about things in life and nature you appreciated."
I thought I would feel differently
But I can honestly say that I haven't missed my periods at all, even in the "strange" way I thought I might.
I thought there would be some mourning, wistfulness, or ambivalence about the loss of this phenomenon that has taken up so much of my time and energy, but there hasn't been.
It feels very freeing
I have actually felt enormous relief when I realize I never have to go through heavy bleeding and cramping again. Sometimes I even feel elated at the thought.
Now when I have to plan things, whether taking on a freelance assignment or a trip somewhere, I never have to look at the calendar and try to plan around it again. This was often futile because it seemed whenever I didn't need it or want it to come, was when my period would arrive.
It's also, quite frankly, really great to not have to ever worry about accidentally getting pregnant. I never did well with hormonal birth controls and wasn't able to tolerate them, so they weren't an option.
Condoms were annoying, and I seemed to have a low-grade irritation to the latex.Now that's something I no longer have to have any anxiety about.
I am in a long-term monogamous cis-het relationship, and we've both been tested for STIs, so pregnancy was the only worry.
I did keep my cervix
When I had a hysterectomy, I kept my cervix. I made this decision because it felt right for my body. I had never had an abnormal pap smear, and endo wasn't found in my cervix.
I have connective tissue disease, which makes me more prone to things such as prolapse, so it felt safer to keep what I could. With that being said, some people told me that my cervix could also bleed and cause "mini-periods" if I kept it.
But I haven't had anything like that either (at least yet) despite still having a cervix. I haven't had even one drop of blood.
Do what you think is right for your body
This post isn't a judgment on those who do miss getting their period. Everyone is entitled to what they feel and their individual experiences.
For me, I have just been surprised at how I didn't miss it even a tiny bit. It was like leaving behind a bad chapter of my life that I put behind me the minute it was over.
So it's been great knowing I made a good choice about my body, and it turned out even better than what I thought it would be.
Have you had a hysterectomy? If so, do you miss your period? Please feel free to share your experiences in the comment section below.
The holiday season is among us and can be so stressful! Do you experience more flares during this season?