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a woman looks on skeptically while six doctors blab thoughtlessly

When It’s Time To Find A New Doctor: Part 2

Read Part 1 here

How can doctors and other healthcare professionals – the people we go to and depend on – be so cold and cruel to their patients? I should not have to write a part two of things doctors have said or done to me, to upset me. There should not even be a part 1. It is frustrating that women’s health is not a more serious issue. It clearly needs to be. I stated in my last article that, of course, not EVERY doctor is bad; I have had other specialists (outside of the gynecology world) who were fantastic.

But my experience with the gynecology world has not been a good one. The amount of time and effort I put into making sure I find the best doctor has been unsuccessful time and time again. I am sure if you read Part 1, you are thinking, “What else could a doctor have said or done that was so bad?”… You would be surprised!

“Have sex to monitor symptoms.”

Yes. My MALE gynecologist said this to me just a few weeks ago. I went in for a polyp removal on my cyst. Unfortunately he could not get at it without causing me to lose too much blood. Surgery removal would be the next best thing but he refused to set it up. Instead, he told me to “monitor” my cervix. I was confused thinking how in the world I would be able to do that. Was I confused as to where my cervix was located? Because I thought for sure that was something we couldn’t see on the outside!

When he said the words “have sex”, my face turned red. Not red of embarrassment, but red in anger. How can a doctor say that so casually as a solution to a problem? As I began to tell him I do not have sex due to the bleeding caused by the polyp and the pain, he said, “Well, we will just look at it again next year”. NEXT YEAR? How is that even an acceptable solution?

“There is no way you have endometriosis.”

How can a doctor say that when the only way to diagnosis endometriosis is through surgery? How can you just look at your patient and say, “NOPE, no endo there!”? I even brought up the fact it ran in the family and that my aunts all had it. Let’s just say, I wrote him a long email with my diagnosis confirmation a few months later.

“You must be pregnant.”

Oh, I must, huh? This is the VERY first thing doctors assume whenever a women enters the office with pain or symptoms. I completely understand the whole ruling out process… HOWEVER, why does this always need to be the first assumption? I wish doctors would look at us with more respect.

“Get pregnant.”

Then there is this statement also. The very same doctor last week who was pushing sex and Lupron on me told me to get pregnant. It would make me feel better for nine months and possibly a few months after. So you are saying to bring a child into the world, that I am not ready for nor even know if I can have, just to find nine months of pain relief? Is this a treatment plan in a medical book somewhere? Because I would really love to know where doctors get these ideas!

Ignoring my list of symptoms and concerns

Before an appointment a few weeks ago, I sat down and made sure I wrote a very descriptive list of symptoms I have been having. I thought I would bring it to my appointment because whenever I don’t, I leave SO many things out. When the doctor came into the room holding my list, he put it down on the computer keyboard. Not once did he go to the list and ask me about ANY of my symptoms. Instead, he told me, “None of these symptoms could have anything to do with endometriosis”. Never did he ask when they occurred, how they felt, or how often they occurred.

It is so frustrating trying to deal with the medical world. What are some things doctors have said to you, to make you upset or angry?

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • dejesua
    4 months ago

    I’ve had a doctor tell me all of these same things! I get so much anxiety going to the doctor and always down play my symptoms because of how stupid doctors constantly make me feel. I once had my doctor tell me that the 30 lbs I gained after my Lupron shot was just my second puberty hitting me in my 20s and that my “real” weight was setting in. WHAT?!

  • Kimberli Davino moderator author
    4 months ago

    @dejesua– I downplay my symptoms all the time just because I am SO embarrassed and anxious about what they are going to say. Because I always have a list of symptoms going on and I am sure they think I am just exaggerating. It is so frustrating! And wow to what your doctor had said to you! I hope you got rid of him/her and found a new, more understanding one! Sending you hugs <3 -Kimberli (team member)

  • Pam Kingsland moderator
    4 months ago

    Oh my gosh, that is SO frustrating to hear, @dejesua! I can only imagine how that ridiculous comment made you feel. I hope you’ve found a more understanding doctor since then. 🙁 – Pam (team member)

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