Why I Will Never Love My Periods

There are so many things I love in this life. Beach sunsets, oat milk lattes, the sound of my dogs paws on the carpet. Yet, one thing I will never, ever love, are my periods. This I know for sure. I will never celebrate my cycle, jump about barefoot when ovulating, or be happy that I bleed. My questionable fertility and split-personality hormones are not a gift. Why the cynicism, you may ask. Well, I have complex endometriosis, and if you have it too, it’s likely you get what I am saying.

Not loving, even hating your period is, in my book, pretty normal. While I don’t struggle with my animosity towards this biological phenomenon, I take one look at social media and instantly feel alone in this position. Natural wellness has experienced a surge in popularity in recent years. Instagram is full of health gurus, holistic nutritionists, and the like. Period experts are telling us to embrace our cycle, use it to maximize our potential and make our dreams come true... but I just can’t. Don’t get me wrong, I have followed some of these flow-loving accounts and for a short while thought they could help me. But all it takes is for my my period to hit, and I realize my uterus exists on a level of its own.

The truth is, I don’t love my periods, I hate them

I must add, that I have nothing against anyone that is able to get the best out of their cycles and celebrate their periods. For too long, women have been told that periods are taboo, or dirty, when they are something truly natural. It’s just that, for me, periods don’t make me feel powerful or akin to a fertility goddess. When I get my period, I struggle to breathe normally. I am forced to stay in bed, unable to think straight. I bleed so much, I lack the energy to even speak. I pass out most of the time.

Ultimately, my periods became so bad that I stopped them altogether. My last period was 8 months ago, due to a daily dosage of progesterone, that truly, has given me my life back. It’s not perfect, my chronic fatigue has gone nowhere, my hormonal migraines are still very present, sometimes I even bleed a little. But I regained control over my existence, and thinking about giving up these precious hormonal crutches sends shivers down my spine.

Yet, hormonal therapies don’t cure endometriosis

Progesterone, estrogen, or the combined pill, can’t even be considered forms of treatment. They're merely ways to put the life-altering symptoms that come with endometriosis on hold. It places patients in a somewhat pain-free limbo.

It’s great to see the empowerment that comes from speaking openly on social media about periods. Periods give life, so they definitively shouldn’t be taboo or a luxury! Yet, for endometriosis patients, saying goodbye to our periods means having a shot at a normal life. It is an approach millions of us are grateful to have available to us.

The day I stopped bleeding I got my life back, and this is something I am happy to celebrate, even if I do so quietly, with an oat milk latte, and a high-five from my dog.