Sharing Words of Comfort

“I hope you feel better soon.”

That is the phrase we say to one another when we’re not feeling well. It is usually said to acknowledge the struggles at that moment and to give hope and encouragement that this, too, shall pass.

It suggests that you rest, give it some time, and then you’ll feel better.

But what happens when you live with a chronic condition and you’re not guaranteed to feel better in a few days or weeks?

What happens when not feeling well actually becomes your norm? The truth is that it makes other people feel uncomfortable and awkward.

Have you experienced anything like this?

When it comes to giving words of support, some people don’t know what to say. Do they say, “Get better soon,” even though that’s irrelevant for a chronic condition?

Do they say, “Hang in there,” which really doesn’t say much at all? What does that even mean?

Do they say not say anything because they don’t want to keep bringing it up? Honestly, I don’t even know what I want them to say.

If I’m being honest, there are moments when I don’t even know what to say to myself. I’ve gone through all the phrases and am still at a loss.

Words of comfort to share

Here are some things to say to others when they aren't feeling well. What are some words of comfort and encouragement you want to hear from other people?

“Is there anything you want to talk about?”

This can serve as a great journal prompt. I also like the prompt, “What’s on your heart today?” It sets the stage for me to get honest about my feelings and emotions.

It’s also a thoughtful question for someone to ask, especially if it’s a family member or trusted friend who will listen with an open heart to your answer. I like the broad nature of this question. I could take this in whichever direction my heart needed.

If I’m struggling emotionally or undecided about a treatment plan, I could use this as an opportunity to talk it through.

“It’s okay if you need more rest.”

This one speaks straight to my heart. It’s a message that I want to reinforce to myself because I carry the false belief that resting is being lazy.

That would be so comforting if someone else said these words to me. It helps me overcome the idea that others are judging me for not getting more done and showing up to more activities.

“How can I help?”

As someone who doesn’t like to ask for help, this offer goes such a long way. I’ve learned over the years to answer this question honestly.

When someone is offering to help, it’s okay to share something I really need help with. It could be something that I need from the store, or it could be something that I need help with at home.

Give an honest answer. The people closest to you want to help.

Now I want to hear from you. What is helpful for you to tell yourself, and what is helpful for hearing from others?

Please share in the comments below so we can all learn from one another.