How To Manage Emotions When the Pills Won’t Work
Last updated: June 2022
Lately, the medication I take to manage certain endometriosis symptoms is leaving me very deflated. I have been on the pill form of the Provera injection for over three years.
I take it daily to prevent my horrific, life-disrupting periods from happening. Yet currently, I see more negatives than positives.
For starters, the intermittent bleeding has become relentless. It's a minor annoyance, but it does stress me out to find myself staining my underwear and bedsheets when nowhere in my cycle does it say this should be happening.
I also suffer from some physical discomfort, for which I have been to the doctor several times. Yet they find nothing that worries them, so they prescribe me some anti-inflammatories and send me on my way.
Overthinking the unexplainable symptoms
I do my best not to Google anything, and on some days, I even avoid the endometriosis forums I am so fond of since they can trigger my anxiety. All I can do is wonder whether it's related to the hormonal treatment I'm on since I suffered similar symptoms a while back before taking a break.
However, while I got some immediate relief from my pills, it didn't last long: my excruciating periods returned with a vengeance. Disappointed, I reached for my hormones once more.
Concerned about the effects of hormones
Worried about the effects the hormones had on my body, I spoke to a GP who told me my only options were to try another form of hormonal treatment or a hysterectomy.
Option one troubles me because I have tried many hormonal medications before, and they all wreaked havoc on my emotional health. They also gave me distressing skin issues.
My other option is major surgery, which does not guarantee to cure my disease.
We constantly have to monitor symptoms that change from one month to the next, and whenever we talk to a doctor, unless they're specialists, all we get are shrugged shoulders. Sometimes we hear the dreaded "there's nothing else we can do for you."
Eventually, it's just us, living with this disease, worrying whether it will progress, worsen, and ruin our lives if left untreated. There is no guarantee the adhesions inside of me are not spreading.
Additionally, my history has taught me that the medication I'm on does not prevent any potentially harmful cysts from suddenly bursting.
Managing the feelings I am having
A sense of control is important to me, so I will book yet another doctor consultation and see if any tests are required. In the meantime, the only thing I can do is take some deep breaths and focus on what I can do at present to improve my quality of life.
Physical exercise keeps some symptoms and most of my pain at bay. I know that avoiding inflammatory foods will benefit me and that keeping my stress levels low will allow me to live more comfortably.
Processing the emotions that come from having endometriosis
This is not something doctors tell you, and it's something you learn when talking to other community members. We flood forums and social media groups with questions on new symptoms, exchange words of support, and share our worries.
Then we log off and process our own experience internally.
I need to believe it will all be alright. It means hugging myself by wrapping my arms around myself and saying, "you are safe."
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