Does Life With Endometriosis Feel Like A Broken Record To You?

I was walking through my neighborhood park the other day when I felt a familiar tug. I managed the pain as best I could and stopped for the short time it lasted.

Yet, there was one thought in my head that lingered longer than the physical pain: "Here we go again." The sharp tug reminded me to call my GP and explain how these symptoms were happening once again.

And I, one more time, hoped they'd take me seriously enough to refer me to a specialist.

The pain keeps returning

Since my diagnosis, I’ve been in this same situation more times than I care to remember. Often, life with this disease feels like a broken record.

Certain moments give me a strong sense of déjà vu, turning my existence into a groundhog day centered around uncomfortable conversations and test results. Surely, I can’t be the only one feeling like this.

Long waits to be referred to another doctor

I asked to be referred to an endometriosis specialist almost a year ago. Since I haven't heard anything, I have a reminder to contact my doctor in my diary.

Yet, I keep putting it off because I don't have the energy to discover how they probably forgot to put my request forward. This has happened before.

Another dismissive doctor

Last week, I attempted to get a diagnosis for my achy muscles and sore limbs. It felt like I was doing this for the trillionth time.

When I finally got to talk to a doctor over the phone, I attempted to explain my current situation, including how this wasn't the first time I had asked for a diagnosis.

Yet, the male doctor on the other end of the line didn’t want to hear that: “Can we just focus on your pain levels?” When I told him that it felt like my skin was coming apart from my bones, he responded with silence, followed by a resigned "OK".

I recognized the familiar doubtful tone. He didn't believe nor understand my pain.

Prescribed random medications

I’ve been prescribed a myriad of pills and capsules that generally do nothing to ease my symptoms. I normally accept these meds when I lack the energy to counter-argue.

They will become part of my routine for a while, but once I see no positive changes, I'll store them in the special cabinet for useless-meds-that-cost-me money-and-gave-me-a-stomach-upset.

Life with endometriosis is no sprint

It’s a marathon with steep hills, slippery roads, and all sorts of obstacles from a bunch of people who barely acknowledge my experience. Yet I always despair at the familiar hardships on the way to treatment.

Doctors who dismiss our disease because it is "not life-threatening" or ignore how long-term pain can severely impact a person’s mental health, over and over.

Yet while this familiarity is often frustrating, it has another effect, making me push back harder.

Having to remain resillient

Yes, life with endometriosis sometimes feels like an endless loop. The same experiences are on repeat, which is why I will continue to sound like a broken record demanding better care for myself and every single person living with a uterus with murdering intentions.

I know that life can also feel mundane and repetitive for people free of endometriosis. Yet, I have the strength and resilience many people lack.

Lately, my mantra comes courtesy of pop princess Kylie Minogue: "I'm fierce, and I'm feeling mighty, I'm a golden girl, I'm an Aphrodite, all right?"

It doesn't matter what endometriosis throws at me, over and over. With every invasive test, I feel more powerful. With every dismissive doctor, I grow more argumentative.

Keep it up endo. You're only making me stronger.