Helping My Partner Manage Her Spoons

One of the most common symptoms experienced by people with endometriosis is fatigue, which can be debilitating and affect their quality of life. Fatigue is a feeling of extreme tiredness or exhaustion, which can be physical, emotional, or mental. It is often described as feeling drained, weak, or sluggish.

Fatigue is a symptom my partner has always experienced very significantly. It has halted her career progression numerous times, destroyed relationships, and generally worsened her quality of life.

Supportive strategies in managing fatigue

People with endometriosis may experience fatigue due to the constant pain and discomfort they experience. The pain can be so intense that it affects their sleep, causing insomnia or disrupted sleep patterns. The inflammation caused by endometriosis can also lead to chronic fatigue syndrome, a condition where the body's immune system is overactive. This can lead to extreme fatigue and other symptoms.

Managing fatigue in people with endometriosis can be challenging. The advice that she has received to handle her fatigue has consisted of rest and relaxation, regular exercise, eating a balanced diet, and staying hydrated. But my partner has never found these to be enough on their own.

To better help my partner with her fatigue, it’s helpful for me to support her directly. This support might look like driving her places when she can’t take public transport, meeting her with the car if she gets tired, getting the groceries for her, and making dinner. Basically, I try to take away some of the tasks during the day that may drain her so she can focus her energy on the more important stuff.

Understaning fatigue through metaphors

The spoon metaphor explains the limited energy that people with chronic illnesses must work with daily. Christine Miserandino, a woman living with lupus, created it. She used this metaphor to help her friend understand what living with a chronic illness was like. It can be applied effectively to endometriosis.

Imagine having a specific amount of spoons, each of which represents the energy you must expend during the course of the day. Every activity that you do, whether it is taking a shower, cooking a meal, or going to work, requires a certain number of spoons. When you run out of spoons, you're out of energy and can't do any more activities until you've rested and replenished your spoons.

Someone with a chronic illness may have fewer spoons to begin with, and some activities may require more spoons than they do for a healthy person. This means they must be careful with their spoons and may have to make difficult choices about what activities to prioritize and what to let go of.

By helping my partner manage her spoons and using some of mine, she can feel better and more effectively manage her endometriosis. This can lead to her having more energy, and the vicious cycle of fatigue can be somewhat reversed.