Navigating Intimacy During Fertility Treatments
Last updated: May 2021
When you think of conceiving a baby, it’s easy to have a vision of a romantic evening with our significant other that’s filled with passion and romance.
And then there’s the real-life version of fertility treatments – timed intercourse, navigating around side effects of fertility medications that don’t always put you in the mood, and managing the emotional rollercoaster of fertility struggles.
Both the fantasy and the real-life path can lead to the same outcome, but one is certainly more enjoyable than the other.
Unfortunately, we don’t always get to choose which path we’ll be on. Many of us endo sisters get selected into the latter. But the good news is there are opportunities to make this path a little more enjoyable.
In fertility treatments, you may be asked to have intercourse at a very specific time, or in the case of in-vitro fertilization (IVF), intercourse can be completely taken out of the equation. No matter which end of the spectrum you’re on, we need to redefine intimacy to keep the romance going.
Intimacy isn’t just about intercourse. There are many options that can support us during this season of your relationship. You may want to consider, what else gives you a feeling of connection with your significant other?
The answer will be different for each person, but the following are some ideas to get the creative juices flowing.
It could be as simple as sitting at the kitchen or dining room table if you typically eat on the couch. Or add a candle to the table, dim the lights, and ask Alexa to queue up some dinner music.
You can stay in or go, out but setting the intention that it’s date night gives the evening a different tone. It’s a night where phones are set aside, you select a movie that you both enjoy and maybe snuggle on the couch more than you typically would on a random night.
Dance to your wedding song
Listening to your wedding song doesn’t take a lot of time or preparation, but it can certainly be a simple way to connect with your spouse. It will naturally bring back memories of your wedding which can spark a trip down memory lane.
Bubble bath or massage
If you can get your significant other to agree to a bubble bath or massage, that’s not only quality time together but also incredibly relaxing. This one is a double win! Add some candles or essential oils in the mix and you have yourself a romantic home spa night!
In some cases, you don’t even need to schedule time together. Simply leaving each other a little note in their car, tucked in a pocket or drawer can keep you feeling connected and supporting one another through the journey. It’s another way to say, “I love you!”
Tell us your ways!
How do you keep intimacy with your significant other alive when you’re either dealing with fertility treatments or endo symptoms? Please share below so we can learn from you too.
Which symptoms are you experiencing the most this week? (Check all that apply):