Advice for Couples Following a Restrictive Diet

Jessica has endometriosis, and Chris is her partner. Together, they find ways to manage the condition and support each other through its challenges. Jessica is currently following an elimination diet. Below they discuss how it is going and offer tips and advice to other couples trying to navigate eating this way.

What challenges do you have when trying to eat together when one of you is following a restrictive diet?

From Jessica: The biggest challenge I would say is time. Chris and I are both very busy people, and we’d got into a great rhythm with our meals. We had go-to super healthy, endo-friendly lunches we could make in 30 minutes or less when we were working at home.

Now it’s totally different. In the beginning, I just didn’t know what to make by the time meals came around. As I am very busy, I didn’t have time to meal prep for this diet, and had to just jump in quickly - I really wouldn’t recommend this approach! We’d end up having really disappointing meals and I’d struggle to make them blood sugar balancing and filling enough, so I wouldn’t feel emotionally or physically satisfied afterwards.

From Chris: Couples deciding what to eat for dinner every night is a classic challenge anyway, but now adding in a huge list of ingredients that are off limits makes it even harder. Like Jess said, we had a really solid bunch of regular recipes and it made deciding what to eat much easier, but now it feels like we're back to square one.

How does it affect other aspects of your (social) life?

From Jessica: Well, it would be easier to not have one right now, if I’m honest! My friend’s birthday is this weekend and just to be able to travel into London and spend the day there, I’m having to make loads of filling snacks I can carry with me. The list of foods I can’t eat literally is so detailed that trying to grab food on the go is near impossible! We’re going to a pub in the evening, and the only bar food I can eat is seared broccoli, but my digestive tract is currently so compromised that veggies have to be really well cooked to be able to break them down. I’ve noticed a lot of places prepare broccoli so it’s still pretty crunchy and that really hurts my digestion, so instead of risking it, I’ve made a load of coconut flour zucchini muffins to snack on whilst everyone else enjoys the bar food!

From Chris: We haven't been able to eat out anywhere since starting this elimination diet because, as Jess said, the list of off-limit foods is extensive and covers very common foods that are ingredients in just about everything. We ate out once in the first week and that really wasn't a good experience for Jess, so we've made our own food since then. Eating out is a big aspect of our social lives so that has been a struggle. There's a light at the end of the tunnel because elimination diets are followed for a fixed period, but it still seems a long way off!

What advice can you give to other couples in this position?

From Jessica: Prepare, prepare, prepare! If you have the luxury of working with a nutritionist (which I would always recommend if you’re doing a strict elimination diet) then I would ask them to give you a two week period before the protocol starts, but once you have your food list. That way you can experiment with recipes, maybe buy some cook books and plan meals in advance, knowing what you like and what works for your body.

I would also say if you’re going out, call the restaurants ahead of time and work out what they can do for you. If you’re just out and about, have an idea of which places you can get food from and what’s on their menus - even if it’s just a takeaway place. Think ahead! If you have to, make snacks - it’s a bit of a chore, but it’s well worth it. No one likes being hungry and having cold broccoli to enjoy!

From Chris: To the partners of those on elimination diets - make this diet part of your life too. You obviously don't have to follow it as strictly, but make it a team effort and deciding what and where to eat will be easier.

Similarly, do your own research on the diet. Two heads are better than one, and having a good idea of what your partner can and can't eat means you may find places to eat or recipes to follow that your partner misses. Variety is important for enjoying food, and variety can be harder to obtain on a restrictive elimination diet.