Letting Go of My Plan to Heal

I love to have a plan. If there’s a goal or an outcome that I desire, I want a plan to get there. What can I expect, what actions do I need to take and how can I track my results?

This approach has served me really well over the years. I’ve accomplished a lot throughout my schooling and career. I’ve checked a lot of boxes on my bucket list. My health has even benefited from this approach. Any diagnosis or health challenge I’ve experienced has been approached with this mindset. It’s basically me doing everything I can do gain or maintain control of a situation.

Setting plans and goals for my endometriosis

It was incredibly helpful when I was first diagnosed with endometriosis. My doctor insisted upon the laparoscopy procedure, so I got it done – and was grateful for it.

I learned that some fellow endo sisters were finding relief from symptoms through dietary changes like eliminate dairy from the diet – so I began finding swaps. I opted for rice milk or coconut-based ice cream and yogurt vs products made with cow’s milk. I even began acupuncture treatments as that too had been recommended for maintenance.

I got relief so I continue to stick with the plan. What I liked most about this approach is the action I was able to take. But if I’m being fully honest, the appropriate word to use here is control. I love the control that I had with changing my diet, scheduling appointments, and checking to-do’s off the list. Taking responsibility for our health is important... But it’s also important to give ourselves the grace of knowing that healing isn’t linear and that when it comes to health, we really don’t have full control over our health.

I also have to trust my doctors

Some of it is left in the hands of our doctor, and simply allowing our body to heal at its own pace in its own time is powerful. This part isn’t always so easy, but it’s equally as important. I find myself now maintaining my healthy habits, but placing equal importance on not becoming stressed in my ability to completely control the process and the outcome. There’s a level of trust with my body and with my health care professionals that is important to honor.

While it was uncomfortable at first to try to let go of that control a bit, it has actually been quite refreshing. Again, I still eat well, move my body, and manage stress to the best of my ability, but giving my body permission to heal as it needs – not just according to what is in my plan – and giving my doctors space to do their job feels so much lighter on my shoulders. I sometimes feel a little foolish for not recognizing this sooner, but I suppose better late than never?

Do you find yourself trying to control your healing? What do you find helpful in finding the balance of playing an active role, but not trying to control? Personally, I love the phrase, “Trust the process.”