Being Reminded of What Chronic Pain Looks Like

Chronic pain hasn't been a symptom of my partner's endometriosis for a long time. It used to be a everyday experience for her, but she know manages it with diet and lifestyle changes to a point where it really doesn't bother her much. That's not to say that there aren't other symptoms and co-conditions that bother her, there are, but chronic pain seems to be under control.

So I kind of forgot what living with it was like. That was until she recently broke her ribs.

The fall

The day we were leaving for a 3 month trip to France, she slipped in the shower at the travel hotel and landed on the metal assistance handle on the edge of the bath. She was in excruciating pain, and subsequent x-rays revelled three broken ribs and a small lung perforation. Since then, she hasn't really been able to bend, pick things up, dress herself, sleep horizontal, and many other everyday things we've previously taken for granted, and so I've been helping her with a lot of that stuff. It's really reminded me of what it was like when she was in pain all the time, and how terrible it is for people still living in chronic pain.

So, to revisit a topic I thought was in the past, I thought I'd think about how to support your partner if they're living with chronic pain.

Listening

Living with chronic pain caused by endometriosis and its related conditions can be an incredibly challenging experience. As a friend, family member, or caregiver, providing support and understanding is crucial to help them navigate their daily lives. Begin by educating yourself about endo and its related conditions. Gain a deeper understanding of the symptoms, triggers, and potential treatment options available. This knowledge will enable you to empathise with your loved one's experiences and offer informed support.
Listening attentively is also crucial for someone living with chronic pain. Allow them to express their emotions, frustrations, and fears without judgment. Be patient, understanding, and validate their experiences. Active listening can help them feel heard, acknowledged, and less alone in their journey. Providing a safe space for them to vent can be cathartic and emotionally therapeutic.

Showing empathy and compassion

Similarly, demonstrate empathy and compassion by acknowledging the physical and emotional toll that chronic pain can have on their lives. Avoid downplaying or dismissing their pain and instead, offer words of encouragement, reassurance, and support. Empathetic gestures, such as offering a comforting hug or holding their hand during difficult moments, can provide much-needed solace and make them feel understood and cared for.

Stay flexible

Understand that living with chronic pain often means unpredictable limitations. Be flexible and accommodating with plans, schedules, and activities. Offer alternatives or adjustments that cater to their needs and comfort levels. By being understanding and adaptable, you help alleviate their stress and reduce the pressure they may feel to keep up with societal expectations.

Offer help

And finally, living with chronic pain can make even simple tasks challenging. Offer assistance with practical activities such as grocery shopping, cooking meals, or cleaning. Respect your loved one's autonomy by asking how you can help and allowing them to delegate tasks. Your support will alleviate their physical strain and provide them with much-needed relief.

Supporting someone living with chronic pain from endo and related conditions requires empathy, understanding, and adaptability. By educating yourself, providing a listening ear, showing empathy, accommodating their needs, and assisting with practical tasks, you can make a positive impact on their healing journey.