A woman pretends to be fine while she chats with another woman

20 Reasons Why I Say "I'm Fine"

“How are you feeling?” The question I truly HATE for people to ask. To be honest, when I was first diagnosed with endometriosis, I craved for family and friends to ask how I was doing. It helped me feel as though they cared and wanted to make sure I was OK, and it gave me the opportunity to explain what was going on.

But, after a while, explaining what was wrong became tiring. Because, typically, every "How are you question?" came with a “Well, I’m not so good...” answer. That was when I started to realize “I’m fine” was an appropriate way to respond. The thing was, I wasn’t fine. I’m not fine. No, I’m not dying, but I am not fine. But the words "I’m fine" became my security blanket.

“I’m Fine”

This is a popular phrase in the chronic illness community. It's our way of masking how we really feel. Because, let's be honest, most tend to get tired of hearing that we don’t feel well. And, we get tired of always explaining why we don’t feel well.

20 reasons why I say “I’m fine” instead of telling you how I really feel

  1. Telling you "I am fine" is way easier than explaining why I am not.
  2. Telling you "I am struggling" makes me feel weak. And I would rather you not know that.
  3. I can feel the judgement already- It's something we all feel on a daily basis. So, letting you know how I really feel is out of the question.
  4. Sometimes, we aren't in an acceptable place for me to start explaining what is going on. So, "I’m fine" is just easier.
  5. I am actually exhausted and just want to sleep. But my eyes are open, so "I must be ok, obviously".
  6. I don’t want you trying to "cure me" with things you have heard.
  7. I am struggling, but am not looking for your pity.
  8. I am actually way too tired to answer with anything other than "I am fine".
  9. I want to believe that I am fine. So, continuously saying it makes me feel like maybe I will be. AKA, I am in denial.
  10. You may have actually caught me on a day where my flare-up is at its lowest and I am having no pain. It doesn’t mean I truly am fine. It just means in that particular moment, I am able to go about my day.
  11. I don’t feel like hearing your rude response, “You are sick again?”
  12. It could possibly be that I tried explaining my illness to you before and it didn’t go well. And to be honest, I don’t want to try explaining it to you again.
  13. I'm just trying to pretend that things are normal.
  14. I’m breathing, got up, got dressed, and showed up. And I am fighting to get through the day. So, I have to be fine.
  15. The feeling of being a burden does not excite me. Laying all my issues on you is the last thing I want to do.
  16. I am really crying on the inside, because I am in a lot of pain, but don’t want you to see that.
  17. I need to focus on staying positive.
  18. I don’t want to bring you down with my sob story. The black rain cloud is following me, it doesn’t need to follow you too.
  19. I don’t want you to think I am constantly talking about myself.
  20. I don’t know what it is you are struggling with that day and feel silly talking about my problems. You could be dealing with something 10x’s worse than me.

Can you relate? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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