Hello Endo sisters
I am in need of some serious love and guidance.
I, like all of you, have had quite the battle. I wasn’t diagnosed with Stage 4 endometriosis until I was 36, due to the incompetence of about a dozen doctors I had seen over a 4 year span. I had surgery in 2018 to remove giant endometriomas from each of my ovaries. It was my first and only surgery ever, and I had a very hard time with recovery.
About a year later, I became pregnant naturally but had a chemical pregnancy. I had just gotten married 6 months after my surgery, and wanted to give myself a little taste of life pain free, so finding I was pregnant was quite the surprise.
Enter the pandemic.. where I refused to start trying for a baby with so much uncertainty.
Being spit out of the other side of the pandemic, I turned to Mercier therapy as I had heard really a amazing things about it. It has 1000% helped with my pain levels but no baby naturally.
I was about to begin IUI, when another incompetent “fertility specialist” sent me for an MRI…after the fact, because of inconclusive ultrasounds.this was weeks before I was supposed to do Iui.
The MRI Showed I was LOADED with endo: endometriomas, adenomyois,
Fluid in my left tube. A complete disaster. A test that should have been done from the beginning, right?
I ditched that doctor, and a friend who went through IVF led me to find my doctor of destiny, who has gone above and beyond for me without even a thought..Crazy, right?
She is proposing the following:
A round of egg retrieval. she has explained that my DOA and age are both factors in not getting enough eggs to test. Depending on how that goes, she would freeze the embryos. I would then need to undergo surgery on my blocked tube and any other endo that can be removed. After that would be the embryo transfer.
While this all sounds like a dazzling plan…WTF?!?!?!!!
I’m finding myself paralyzed in fear.
I suffer from chronic depression, anxiety, and panic disorder, both from living with endo .
My body is so tired. My mind is the same.
What bothers be is my new doctor saying “ if you came to me 5 years ago I think I could have done much more for you.” I get what she’s saying, but I certainly didn’t choose to wait until I was 40 to have a baby. This was the hand I was dealt. I guess I’m having a hard time with knowing when enough is enough. Do I throw in the towel and just worry about my own health both physical and mental, or do I give this whole thing a shot? My motherhood pangs wax and wane from day to day. I just can’t make a clear decision.
I am so lost.
Any advice would be so appreciated