Dealing with Endometriosis Surgery Together: Part 1

Surgery is a major factor when it comes to living with endometriosis. Today, Chris and Jess are exploring how they've navigated this part of living with endometriosis, and sharing some of the lessons they've learned with you.

How do you approach doctors' and hospital appointments?

Chris

I thought I was pretty good at being there for Jess, but while writing this article, it turns out that I wasn’t around for most of the pre-surgery appointments due to work or other commitments. I do not advise you take this approach! Be there for your partner whenever you can, and attend these appointments. Surgery, especially for the first time, can be scary, so it’s great to be there to support your partner. I’d also recommend you do lots of research about what to expect, the different types of surgery, etc. Remember that most of the horror stories you read online are only online because they are exceptionally rare and unique, and are by no means representative of the vast majority of surgeries.

Jess

As Chris said, most of the time when it comes to general doctors’ or hospital appointments, our timings haven’t worked. I do think it’s nice to have someone with you for these if possible. I’ve always found the gravity of what I’m living with hits me in these appointments, and it’s hard to explain that in a follow up conversation to a partner afterwards. It would be nice to have that person there so they can really grasp what it is that you’re battling.

In terms of preparing, I usually make notes on my phone of things I want to ask – but even then I sometimes forget to look at my phone. In an ideal world, I think having that other person there would be helpful because they could also have a list of those questions, and ask for you, or remind you, when needed. It also means that if you don’t take it all in (as it can sometimes be distressing), they can remember too. Plus, it’s someone in your corner who can back-up what you’re telling your doctor!

I think making notes if possible, or just recording the meeting if you can (probably need permission for this one) would also be really helpful, so you can remember and take action where needed afterwards.

How did you prepare for surgery? Can you offer any practical tips?

Chris

We definitely prepared practically for the surgery. We got food shopping in advance so that I’d be around during Jess’ recovery to support her, cleared our calendars, and let people know we wouldn’t be available for a couple of days, and I took the following day or so off work to be there. The latter may not be possible for everyone – if it’s not it might be a good idea to contact a family member or close friend and have them be at home to support your partner while they are recovering.

Jess

Before my first surgery, I made no changes to my diet, and afterwards, I basically just ate chocolate cake. My pain was really bad and I could hardly sit up without help.

This time round, I did research. I now know how to reduce inflammation in my body, so I ensured I ate an anti-inflammatory diet. I also took supplements to support my healing process, such as Omega 3s. I got most of this information from Henrietta Norton’s Take Control of Your Endometriosis. We also made sure I had in healthy, easy and delicious food in that would encourage my body to heal and do what it needed to do to get me back to normal!

I took two weeks off this time, whereas before I think I only took four... Having those two weeks off allowed me to go through the motions of recovery without stressing about needing to get better. I’m pretty sure we had lots of snuggly evenings in and gentle walks whilst I was recovering too!

How did you both feel leading up to surgery? How did you deal with those feelings?

Chris

I was pretty anxious leading up to it. Through happy chance, I’d never had someone close to me go through a surgery, so it was a new process to me and my mind was full of worse case scenarios and what-ifs. This wasn’t Jess’ first surgery, so she could fill me in on the details and how she would feel afterwards, as well as dispel any worries I had.

Jess

I was worried that this surgery would find something more dramatic than the last. The pain that had returned was really serious and persistent, and the specialist seemed to think that the endometriosis may be infiltrating my bowel; That was my main concern. I was pretty stressed thinking about having to adjust to the idea of repeated and serious surgeries for who knows how long, but I also knew I had found really helpful ways of coping with endometriosis, so I continued to work with those.

I also did my best to not think too far ahead, and just take everything step by step and in a really logical manner when I could. Getting stressed was only going to make my symptoms worse, so I did what I could to utilize tools like meditation to calm down.

Luckily, I didn’t have anything too serious going on. The surgery didn’t work in the end for my pain, so I knuckled down on managing my endometriosis and now I am pretty much pain free 99% of the time.

Read Part 2 here