They Denied a Laparoscopy!

Hi, my name is San and I have endometriosis and horrible period pain (dunno if its worse than giving birth because I never had kids, but my mom and grandma had that problem too and they said its worse than that) since i was 9.

I've been 20 years without treatment partly because my mom said it was ridiculous to go to the hospital because of the period and I vomited and suffered everything at home, skipped school (I almost got expelled once, people didn't believe me), and didn't have a diagnosis till this week.

I went to doctors before but they prescribed me painkillers (they changed the type of painkiller because i became resistant to them for taking so much of it) now I cannot go a day without 5 enantyum and it is too much (my stomach hurts), and enantyum is starting to be less to zero effective because as i said i am taking too much of it.

Being denied a laparoscopy

My concern is: I wanted to have laparoscopy and they denied it (I saw a gynecologist, woman) also she said the only treatment is contraceptive pills; she gave me one that is progesterone only (mini pill) and said it was gonna remove my period completely. I tried three types of these hormonal pills before (they only gave me painkillers and this) and all three didn't help, and one of them (diane) was very dangerous and I got a lot of side effects, plus the pain was the same but it lasted the whole month non-stop.

So I wanted to know if I could have laparoscopy because I want to know what stage is my endometriosis and she said just no. Also, i asked about hysterectomy and she said (and this is why I am asking for opinions online): "no doctor in this country is gonna do this to you, ever, because you can sue them after and it happened so many times, believe me. " (I live in Spain) She also pointed out I was too young for an hysterectomy (I'm 29) and that I could still have kids, and i explained to her I don't plan to have kids and that i just want my life back.

Suffering in silence

I've been 20 years of my life suffering in silence, at home, taking painkillers like candy, and this thing started being (only) horrible pain in my vagina, my rectum (impaled*) and my legs that lasted for 7 days with too much bleeding (huge clots) and vomiting/diahrrea (painful sex and I always had horrible cramps after sex i never knew why, one time it made me vomit for one hour), now it is that plus a lot of trouble with digestion, general body pain, pain even when not on my period and depression because all of this.

Sometimes I found myself considering suicide because of this. I wanna know if I'm wrong to ask for a laparoscopy, because it's literally the only thing I want in my life right now. Am I stubborn for not wanting to take the pills this time (I am terrified of them)? If you are reading this and have endo, did the pills alone help you? Should I insist in the laparoscopy? Is it true that women sue their doctors for performing hysterectomy on them and is it true that nobody would perform an hysterectomy in my country? Is it so difficult to have this surgery? How did you manage to have it in the end?

Looking for advice

I feel that what I wrote ended up being a little victimized. It is not my intention and I know it's a condition that doesn't kill you and that sometimes I complain a lot about it. I just wanted to share my story and read some internet advice, because I am somewhat lost and afraid of just taking the mini pill and doing nothing else. This gynecologist told me in the past that I have PCOS and an uterus malformation but didn't care too much about it, she said it was fine. She just repeats every time I go that the only treatment for everything is hormonal pills. I am also afraid of psychological side effect since I have a lot of trouble with that even without any hormonal med. I just don't want to complicate my life more than it already is.

Plus, I feel I don't have the right to ask for a laparoscopy because I am not officially diagnosed with endometriosis. She said I probably have it after I explained to her I am currently unemployed and a no life because of this and that I am really desperate. She also said that ultrasound can detect endometriosis and that she didn't see anything, but that there's an "unseen endometriosis" that cannot be detected by ultrasound and it's "like little lentils, nothing dangerous, but can cause pain".

I found out about endometriosis by googling my symptoms and I asked for it to the doctors; before this no doctor told me about this condition.

Many times wanted to go to ER

There were multiple times in my life that I would want to go to emergency hospital at 4 am because of unbearable pain and I ask myself now if I would have done that in the past... maybe now I would had solutions. She told me that I should have done this.

I am thinking of going to hospital when I have the pain to see if they listen to me more (I feel stupid if I go now after 20 years not going but anyway...) but I am scared of doing it because I think they will give me a injection and send me home (I met people who lived like this and apparently it's what they do when you go to hospital because of period pain). Plus with the covid pandemic this is gonna be taken less seriously than ever (only telephone calls in my country).

Just believe me

I also wanted to point out that family and friends don't take me seriously and it's quite isolating. I cannot vent without someone thinking I am a drama queen so I apparently have to do it online. My mom says that I was just an "unlucky one", just a bad period, just like her and my grandma. Like witches, aliens or something. It pisses me off, because it seems like 1 in 10 women have this, so I don't think this is alien or rare, I think this is pretty common and upsets me how misunderstood it is.

And to conclude, the digestive problems are so huge at this point it's crazy. I bleed the whole month. I don't understand I am apparently ok and nothing wrong in ultrasounds... It makes you feel paranoid for "making it all up" in your head.

I just want to live my life, work without being fired, and complete my career.

*I cannot sit or lay in bed, I have to kneel down while holding the bed tight (while screaming and crying)

Thanks.