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Loss of interest sexually, should I ask for an open relationship?

I have a partner who is on hormone medication to help treat endometriosis. The only effect this has had is to reduce an already low libido for her. The pain is still there, the desire is not. I have a high libido, and I am becoming more and more frustrated. I keep thinking about having an open relationship to save my current one. How do I ask for an open relationship? Should I ask for an open relationship?

  1. I'm afraid I can't give direct advice on this. But as someone with endometriosis who's experienced intimacy roadblocks, I'd suggest asking your partner how they feel about the current situation. Are they frustrated? Is something else going on, like more pain with sex? They may be frustrated, too, but they don't know how to bring it up. Try to stay away from any kind of blame, but it's always good to talk openly. You may be able to come up with new ways to be intimate. A sexual educator or counselor may also help. Wishing you and your partner well! - Keri (endometriosis.net team member)

    1. Hi , thanks so much for sharing your concerns here. This is such a tough situation for both you and your partner. Endometriosis is hard on so many levels, and challenges with intimacy can be so challenging to talk about. Your question suggests that you want to save your current relationship, and I think that clear communication with your girlfriend will be key. It sounds like you are feeling isolated, and you've got be to working together as a team to find a solution that works for both of you. As Keri said, a couples counselor or sex therapist may be a huge help to navigate this difficult topic. Your partner's gynecologist may be helpful too.
      I'm so sorry that you are both dealing with this. Endo affects not just the person living with endo, but the people who love them as well. Please take good care of yourselves in this difficult time. Best wishes to you both. -Audrey (endometriosis.net team)

      1. Another thought I have is that a change of medications might be helpful. Hormones have different side effects for different people, and it may be that a check-in with the gynecologist could address some of the problem. -Audrey

        1. I would help them find new resources and doctors because medications don't treat Endometriosis. They can control symptoms but also replace those symptoms with others that also have a negative impact on quality of life. Help them navigate the very challenging world of finding doctors who are going to value their quality of life as a person and not send them out the door with nothing but terrible choices. Asking for an open relationship is probably going to add one more devastating loss to what they are already going through. Living with Endo is often a lifelong process of incremental losses and having to choose between 2 bad options. They don't have to live in pain or choose between a sex life and pain. It may take time.but solutions exist. If you haven't already found a doctor on Nancy's Nook one of them will help them actually treat the Endometriosis and not mask symptoms with other equally problematic side effects.

          1. just wanted to say thank you for your comment <3 Your words are powerful. And I agree with them totally. Hugging you dear warrior. How have you been feeling lately? -Kimberli (endometriosis.net team member)

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